Blog : Joke time 6

4341 posts
3/19/2012 12:40 pm

Joke time 6

A new bride was a bit embarrassed to be known as a honeymooner. So when she and her husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if there was any way that they could make it appear that they had been married a long time.

He responded, "Sure. You carry the suitcases!"

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A man was invited for dinner at a friend's house.

Every time the host needed something, he preceded his request to his wife by calling her "My Love", "Darling", "Sweetheart", etc., etc.

His friend looked at him and said, "That's really nice after all of these years you've been married to keep saying those little pet names."

The host said, "Well, honestly, I've forgotten her name.

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A married man decided to work late to be with his sexy secretary, so he called his wife to make up an excuse.

After work he invited his secretary to dinner. It soon became obvious that he was going to get lucky, so the two went back to her apartment and had great sex for two hours

Afterward the fellow went to the bathroom to straighten up for the trip home and noticed a huge hickey (kiss mark) on his neck. He panicked, wondering what to tell his wife.

After the man unlocked his front door, his came bounding to greet him. Aha, the man thought, and promptly fell to the carpet, pretending to fight off the affectionate animal.

Holding his neck with one hand, he said, Honey, look what the did to my neck!

Hell, she answered, ripping open her blouse.
Look what he did to my tits!

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A couple had been divorced for about 6 months, but still remained good friends. This worked out pretty good since the both lived in the same apartment building.

One day he slipped on the ice and broke his arm. Later he met his ex-wife in the elevator and she asked if there was anything she could do to help.

He responded, "Well yes, if it's not to much trouble, could you help me take a bath?" She readily agreed and soon after she began washing him she saw a gradual erection began to appear.

"Look John", she exclaimed happily "It still recognizes me!!!"

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Three old men were talking about how much their hands shook.

The first old guy said, "My hands shake so bad, that when I shaved this morning, I cut my face."

The second old fogey one-upped him and said, "My hands shake so bad, that when I trimmed my garden yesterday, I sliced all my flowers."

The third old man laughed and said, "That's nothing. My hands shake so bad that when I took a piss yesterday, I came three times! "

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