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| Blogs > theta2011 > Elusive Love |
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9MORNING MASS This is the first of the 9morning mass. I went to the church before 4am intending to find a seat where I can have a little moment of prayer and thanksgiving before the service begins. As it was the first, every nook and cranny was well taken. There's a vibrant mood around and everyone dressed for the high occassion. First intentions forgotten, I surveyed each faces discreetly (like what everyone's doing), and can't help but smile. Hope was written across their faces, tho' sleepy and yawning - for what? Well, to each his own. We're fanatics people (Pinoys do). Born and bred with faith instilled, that we could have what we hope for by praying and sacrificing a little comfort here and there. In this case, a blissful sleep on a cold weather of the early morning.. and also the nemesis not to complete the 9. I'd completed mine for the last 2 years and I intend to finish it the third time in a row.. but with a different motive now. Before, I asked for love and was given, in fact more than I asked for. 'And the LORD taketh what has HE giveth'..I understand.. HE has something for me, rather someone, I'm sure. All I have to do is open up my heart - again to reconsider.. maybe! For that someone may have crossed my path once and I turned my back. This time, I'm asking the LORD take what HE gave me a plenty - PRIDE..just leave me a bit for posterity.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS! 
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Tajane, I know 'te. Thats what keeps me going and hoping that someone (be it old or a new one) out there is really meant for me to last til my old age. Or none at all. As I've said, I do understand and it's not my place or anyone to question what HE wants to give us. There will always be acceptance, and from HIM a gift of learning. Maybe HE gave me the one meant for me but proud as I am, I let pass by. Now I'm asking a little lesson of humility and lessen my foolish pride. If and when, I'll let my heart guide me regardless of everything. Till then... 
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Yes, the final lesson is we can't hold onto anyone no matter how much we love them. Just to remember and enjoy the moments shared. God is always in control and drives us, and not the other way around. Greatest feelings in the world when two souls profess a love for each other...
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More patience Theta, you deserve better  I'm a senior citizen . Don't expect me to remember anything 
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Tinks, I'm not as devout as i would like to be..but I'm comfortable that I have something or someone to believe in..that someone served as my portal of strength times like i'm down and someone to thank for the good life despite of the many trials.  In everything, I just know - there is GOD 
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To each his own..
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Yes, the final lesson is we can't hold onto anyone no matter how much we love them. Just to remember and enjoy the moments shared. God is always in control and drives us, and not the other way around. You've been through a lot lately, and I know who gives you strength to get up in the morning and live the day despite the feeling of emptiness. The same one I believed responsible for my being still standing and overcoming the burdens of everyday. We have faith sis, everything will turn out alright. 
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More patience Theta, you deserve better I know. Lots of time to wait for that 'better' to come along. A person or the life ahead - doesn't matter long as there's 'better' in it. Thanks for seeing the good in me. 
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12/17/2012 5:29 am |
Thet, the feeling of emptiness has been my constant companion for more than 13 years now. But it only made me stronger, more comfortable as I've fully accepted that definitely, there are a lot of things I can enjoy and be happy with, despite that one lacking in my life. I learned to put a RATIO ( in that, if life has UPs and DOWNs, there is no doubt, I HAVE more than what I DON'T...More than enough for me to be joyful and grateful to GOD. Just call me ELZ 
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'te Tess, You've been through a lot lately, and I know who gives you strength to get up in the morning and live the day despite the feeling of emptiness. The same one I believed responsible for my being still standing and overcoming the burdens of everyday. We have faith sis, everything will turn out alright. We both have faith=God! It's been very empty for me as well like Elz. More than 14yrs and counting. They tell me too deserve much better. Only problem when my heart loves someone hard to let go in an instant. So, God can finally give that special person. Happy Monday Greatest feelings in the world when two souls profess a love for each other...
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Joseph, I agree with you on this. I served some of my purpose and I know there are lots coming my way. If I failed or win, didn't matter - I give my best shot in everything and reached the finish line. Giving my all, thats how it will be till the end.
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Thet, the feeling of emptiness has been my constant companion for more than 13 years now. But it only made me stronger, more comfortable as I've fully accepted that definitely, there are a lot of things I can enjoy and be happy with, despite that one lacking in my life. I learned to put a RATIO ( in that, if life has UPs and DOWNs, there is no doubt, I HAVE more than what I DON'T...More than enough for me to be joyful and grateful to GOD.I prayed for things I want, Lord gave me things I need.. I wished... HE gave me HOPE.. I asked... HE gave me FAITH.. I begged...HE gave me LOVE.. In all likelihood, HE has something greater for us in store, waiting for the right time of fruition. I can only be thankful.
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Sis, We both have faith=God! It's been very empty for me as well like Elz. More than 14yrs and counting. They tell me too deserve much better. Only problem when my heart loves someone hard to let go in an instant. So, God can finally give that special person. Happy Monday It's easier to say to forget that someone who broke our heart in an instant, I doubt. The heart can be healed in a gradual process but never forgets. Regardless of time, the heart has a magnificent storeroom for remembrance. We can always forgive, we can always love anew..but we will remember - even in our last breath. Have a good week.
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Leo, I can only agree in everything you've said. And when you accomplished what's in that checklist, the result is an improved 'you' or 'me'..And who gets the last laugh?? In all my lessons kuya, I can just be thankful that I was able to stand again and right what's possibly wrong. Thanks
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