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Blogs > barbara72 > Barbz_Shed


barbara72
206 posts
1/10/2013 4:50 pm
Shitty thoughts for today
Its really tiring if you are to wait for something. 

Prior to the hope that something will come i decided on working on myself and try to make it alright. All better , but i never did bother myself with internal perfection as no one in the right mind will hope for it. But i made some reconfiguring, changing , and shifting and let go of what wont serve me right. This is what ive done, this is needed , oh im only talking about myself so i knew what is best right? 

 But after processing the shit out of myself, the parts that pain, those that spoke loudly on a bitchy voice, after going through every nook and every cranny of things, there is part of me that still yelling and screaming. 

So much energy have been applied to looking and seeking, instead of finding love within im confronted with this powerful  emotion of anger. I cant outrun it .its quick .stealthy, and no matter what i do , i cant hide from it. It always find me, stayed with me. They try their damnedest-screwing-habit to be known.they are welllversed in their tactics of war, if they are in a battle they will surely fight their right to remain. It even comes with roar of rage. This is such a reminder that sometimes we lack the control we have on our lives. Anger wretches up inside, eat us within, in most times we judge it , fight it, hope to soothe it with platitudes. Yet it remain until we actually express it. 
It fiercely protects us from which that scare us, perceived hurts and those  pains us and from those that we are not ready to feel...when we pushed it down or push it out it rebels, it crumbled the walls we created and opening ourselves from more pain.
I understand its divinely  human to feel it, thats the reason i dont run from it sometimes. im not using it as an excuse to lash out on others or most times to myself. I let it speak coz i cant fight with it  anymore, im in total surrender. I even give it a voice so it can air its own grievances. I paint  with it, i cook with it, draw with it , swim with it, write with it. 
Screm to the pillow, pounded the fist on the bed. I know that im stronger than my fear even than the anger, i can still feel and express with ease.... Sweetness will return. I still hope to be cleared.
barbara72

1/11/2013 4:54 am
    Quoting  :
it will be nice if it will talk back as well, to be fair...but no punching back..


barbara72

1/11/2013 5:03 am
    Quoting  :
oh you remind me of that moment, that was embarrassing...i dunno if that was one of those self-induced lunacy that i pulled off, or a cognitive process problem due to hormonal imbalance salamat ha, im trying to be in a fix-it mode...


barbara72

1/11/2013 5:28 am

 i got a nice lunch and a very very tight warm hug from a very very good friend today, it made a bit of a difference... thanks te


barbara72

1/11/2013 5:35 am
    Quoting  :
very thin line between the two sometimes you dont know what kind you got , hmmm and most times you dont care, coz you need to get ready with boundaries that you can and cannot tolerate....what can make you angry joseph?


barbara72

1/11/2013 2:57 pm
    Quoting  :
hinde ate...girlash yung yumakap sa akin...hahahahha....


eb1209

1/11/2013 9:07 pm

 Anong meron dito, Barbz? ooohhhh! sh*t!
Just call me ELZ


barbara72

1/12/2013 3:33 am
    Quoting eb1209:
    Anong meron dito, Barbz? ooohhhh! sh*t!
hahaha! pinatawa mo naman ako !


barbara72

1/12/2013 7:40 am
    Quoting  :
what could you have angried about hottie? mine has nothing to do with love....this has nothing to do with being cheated upon, left cold by man for another woman or angry because of lack of attention from someone, somewhere, somehow.its bigger than that dear...thanks for dropping by sweety..


barbara72

1/12/2013 7:58 am
    Quoting  :
tsaka he is in switzerland as the first daughter will give birth to the first grandchild...hmm mas nagkakacharacter sya di ba? because he is now a grandfather ...i wonder is he still doing other fish catching or playing tricks? anyway, we are only friends.


barbara72

1/13/2013 5:20 pm
    Quoting  :
...i mean nagkakacharacter sya kasi he is like a wine that gets better as he age...hahaha..di ba i told you bout my preference na ...weeehhh...just like you te, you get more intuned , more intouch with yourself, i guess you can be more sultry in words and action as you are so in touch with ur feminity again dahil someone inspires you...


mr_suave911 80M
Ask me for a photo

1/14/2013 7:27 pm

 *hmmm...


"the wildest colts make THE BEST!!! horses."

_dimasalang_
[blog san_pedro]
mutatis_mutandis


barbara72

1/14/2013 8:59 pm
    Quoting  :
Hahaha...tikiman? Whats that te? Walang ganun hahaha bukod sa i still have fresh stitches eh wala talagang love love pa.......im guarded te when it comes to love. I play fair. Kahit na love ko, in my present circumstances i wont take him to my embrace, he is old to fall in love and lost coz who knows i wont make it. kaya if he wanted to wait , without assuming anything that it will fall into place eventually , ok lang. dyan lang sya its his choice




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