Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > barbara72 > Barbz_Shed |
|
my own waiting game........... This is my waiting game........( inspired to write by someone...you promised me something...  )Seriously.... We all recognize what this all about, this waiting game.the time of life when we all chained down and cannot move forward. The time when we hover here and there.yet being neither here or there.... (But i wish right now im in essex for the seafood pasta  or yorkshire, in that sacred place...sheeesshhh  ) im standing in that forked road again, seeing the options and yet unable to make a choice... Damn, bloody nuisance , waiting is the hardest things to do in this life. For someone who is always on the go, for someone who is not use to standing in the corner, for someone who keeps moving forward and bidding goodbye to the past, waiting is dearly tiring.Experience has revealed to me two types of waitng . The first is waiting for something to happen even when we already know which direction to take, with the delay causing too much impatience as we feel that our wings are clipped and any movement is denied us at the moment. Second type is when you are in standstill because everything is in limbo and you dont know where to go. You knew you have to go somewhere - but which way and where. It brings too much desperation and fear. Because we cant see what lies ahead. Both waiting leaves us immobile. Though its kinda universal that sometimes in this life we have to play this waiting game in various stages of our life, as it is an integral part of it.this good for our growth as a person. We maybe waiting for love to come, waiting for a homecoming, waiting when two becomes one, or to be declared free from illness. Name it....There will always be this feeling of hope that waiting must cease right now......While it isnt happening yet.....The best option is to play along.Take the challenge. The biggest challenge that i am facing during this period is to put meaning into the lull or finding purpose through awareness. So far my intenal state of mind says im quite alright...Am i ? Tell me later, will you ? I ve checked out where my consciousness are and my mindset is...Its still on the positive side, with great hope that i can get out of the many odds that i am facing. I was able to listen to the state of my heart too. The spirit within is still there. I was able to acknowledged it. Infact i praise it , and thank it , i was assured that everything will be alright.... The keyword in keeping ones sanity intact in this waiting period is "surrender" . As they say we cant fight the state or we end up fighting ourselves. When we surrender we relinquish control. We flow and let it be. When we surrender we recognize the force greater than us. Its the best example of the working of destiny over free will. ( i remember recognizing the existence of the two before) If free will had the upper hand, we could move things, but in this waiting period its not the boss. We cant let things happen on our own because destiny tells us to stay put. Stay still. The best way to use our free will at this time is to decide as to how we will stay put or stay still- either or resisting vehemently or yielding to the moment. While in standstill, i repeatedly asked myself, what do i need to consider in my life now? Perhaps god and the universe are not allowing anything or any activity to happen precisely there is a need for an internal work. More changes, more healing or inner transformation that must be experienced. So that i can make the passive state of waiting to be positive and active one. Before i forget, i was able to checked the state of my spirit, and be mindful of the state of my faith...... And i believe i was able to strengthen it.... Not just because i consistenly pray to him for my rescue but i was able to nourish my faith through reconciliation with him. Hmmmm, i am at peace. Lifes crisis and dark nights lead to a deeper awakening in understanding our inner conflicts, our borderlines and comfort zones of fears and insecurities.they also force us to re examine our values and our personal beliefs as they get to be shaken by the trials. I have learned to trust to my higher self and to the divine. I have learned so much in this six months journey and i recognized and willingly accepted the facts that there will be more months to come that this waiting period will cease. The waitng game is gods way of preparing me for the next challenge, the next stage, the next phase, who knows this time i might find the love i am waiting for or not, sabi ko na nga di ba, pag christmas may mga tukso...Nevertheless lifes go on....All im assured of is, this is the time when god creates an imprint in me so i can master patience and surrender, then eventually discover a much greater serenity and become wiser. I longed for that you know. I longed and prayed for that next part where my personal journey will blossom.... I take this period as an opportunity. An opportunity i must take to stock on my readiness, so when the time comes that things are ready to move forward in my life, when i can spring into action again, the forward move will surely be mark by much clarity and renewed life. 
|
|||
|
Each one has a cross to bear some heavier than the others'. It's difficult to maintain a positive attitude when faced with an almost insurmountable challenge. But there is glory in both victory and defeat. It's how we play the game. In the meantime we can just be quiet and enjoy what we have while we wait. It's always a pleasure reading your blogs. I am still learning so much from them. And I thought I've learned already enough at my age  You're teaching me a lot of good lessons here. I can make use of them when the time comes.I'm a senior citizen . Don't expect me to remember anything
| ||
12/3/2012 2:14 pm |
Inspired Seafood Pasta and, possibly Yorkshire, await your full recovery.
| ||
12/3/2012 3:51 pm |
ate, i re-posted it again and again, i keep changing the image eh, and then it wont come out from the list of blog na....i have no other choice eh but not to resist the waiting.... sana sana , i can be free....i longed to be called a survivor....its really tiring, i keep coming back to the link that you gave me. you take care, you've been here and there and everywhere...sarap nun!
| ||
12/3/2012 5:32 pm |
Ehem! I can smell pasta, eheste, romance in here..  Just call me ELZ 
| ||
12/3/2012 8:00 pm |
Inspired Seafood Pasta and, possibly Yorkshire, await your full recovery.
| ||
12/4/2012 2:27 am |
Waiting for my food to cook, waiting for my children to come home...waiting the right timing, takes lot of patience..it is a virtue  Have a wonderful day sis. 
| ||
12/4/2012 12:43 pm |
RE : GOURMET EATING EXPERIENCE Happily I now know, and fully understand, your needs, wants, and requirements. From our extensive a la carte menu I would strongly suggest you experience our 'Seven Course Taster Special' - I can assure you will not be disappointed. Though you may also be tempted by something from our daily updated 'Specials' board. Your table is available at any time, and I can assure you of my personal service at all times. Respect and Regards
| ||
12/5/2012 3:40 pm |
RE : GOURMET EATING EXPERIENCE Happily I now know, and fully understand, your needs, wants, and requirements. From our extensive a la carte menu I would strongly suggest you experience our 'Seven Course Taster Special' - I can assure you will not be disappointed. Though you may also be tempted by something from our daily updated 'Specials' board. Your table is available at any time, and I can assure you of my personal service at all times. Respect and Regards . It will surely tantalize my taste buds. Cant wait! I would like to indulge myself with the gourmet delicious complimentary feast. I shall help you set the table. I have no doubt that ill meet the same demand for perfection and creativity.
| ||
12/5/2012 3:54 pm |
Ang saya ni ate.... I think romance is there to come to you........tukso layuan mo ako........weeeeehhhhhh
| ||
12/5/2012 3:55 pm |
Ehem! I can smell pasta, eheste, romance in here..
| ||
12/5/2012 8:03 pm |
i wrote it down now coz i keep on forgetting them ... i have twenty minutes memory and its a shame...
| ||
12/5/2012 8:08 pm |
Each one has a cross to bear some heavier than the others'. It's difficult to maintain a positive attitude when faced with an almost insurmountable challenge. But there is glory in both victory and defeat. It's how we play the game. In the meantime we can just be quiet and enjoy what we have while we wait. It's always a pleasure reading your blogs. I am still learning so much from them. And I thought I've learned already enough at my age You're teaching me a lot of good lessons here. I can make use of them when the time comes.
| ||
12/8/2012 9:05 pm |
Waiting for my food to cook, waiting for my children to come home...waiting the right timing, takes lot of patience..it is a virtue Have a wonderful day sis.
|
×
×