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MY STRUGGLE TOWARDS POSITIVITY Over the last couple of days, i have felt a return to my ‘normal’ self (loose use of the word ‘normal’ there). my energy levels have been up and stayed that way. the pain in my chest, stomach, and legs has significantly reduced, almost to the point of being negligible. as a result, my head space has been better. and when i say ‘better’ i actually mean i am feeling euphoric. and i have realized it’s all the little things that i have been missing.being able to give my hair a good scrub when washing it, without pain shooting up my chest.being able to lift a full kettle of water to make my tea.getting out of bed in the morning and not nearly collapsing from the pain on my legs.driving! that favorite thing to do when im off!carrying a plate of food with one hand.lifting a saucepan full of veggies off the stove.and going over my computer without getting dizzy. the little things we take for granted every day, mean so much when they are gone.and so i have looked about and realized a new appreciation for the other small things that have the capacity to bring me joy. keeping a positive attitude can be hard. circumstances make it hard. sometimes the people we are doing life with make it hard. and sometimes, we just make it hard all by ourselves.. It can get skewed as well as the stresses and challenges of life come present. You may begin looking through the eyes of not enoughness. so how do we maintain a positive attitude? there are many schools of thought that talk a lot about ‘looking within’. for me, looking within myself for positivity, strength and the desire to keep going, only takes me so far. more often than not when i look within myself, i find irritability, negativity and weakness. looking within does not provide me with anything terribly useful most of the time. it just gives me a glimpse of who I am when i am looking only to myself for rescue.no, i need to look externally, specifically, upward, for my strength and renewal of flagging spirits. i find the ‘look within yourself’ mantra a little egotistical. if we really did have it within ourselves, i think society would look a whole lot different than it does.saying we just need to look within ourselves is assigning us greater powers than we possess. we need something bigger than ourselves, something outside of us, to provide us with the strength we need to get through. simply relying on ourselves is not enough. anyone who has read past blog posts would know that i am a big believer in choices and changing things about ourselves that need changing, so i am not saying that we have no control or power in us. i just don’t think we should be our only resource. i am grateful there is an external support founded with support and love i can rely on and draw from when my own strength is diminishing. i am blessed i surrounded by the people who lift my spirits.you know, the people who truly get YOU and with whom you feel a sense of positive energy. there is no more powerful yet simple change that we can make in our lives than to gather those close who appreciate our beauty and who share our kindness philosophy. in present circumstances, if drawing on my own internal fortitude was all i had, my life would be sadly lacking in positivity, comfort and strength because, more often than not, it’s just not enough. |
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10/23/2012 9:29 pm |
In this life, there will always "highs and lows" Barbz...Expect the unexpected...SOmetimes, it really gets tough, but, hey! Each day brings something new...Once we start appreciating the small things, believe me, the Bigger things will be secondary. At least, we know, that if we can't have them (BIG), we have something else to be pre-occupied and be happy with. Right now, I can be extremely happy one day, then the next, I feel low...But, I have always been very confident when I am "negative", that all I need to do is cross the line, and move to the positive side...The decision to be happy is still mine to make... Just call me ELZ 
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10/23/2012 9:30 pm |
There will always "be" (pls. insert) Just call me ELZ
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10/24/2012 7:40 am |
In this life, there will always "highs and lows" Barbz...Expect the unexpected...SOmetimes, it really gets tough, but, hey! Each day brings something new...Once we start appreciating the small things, believe me, the Bigger things will be secondary. At least, we know, that if we can't have them (BIG), we have something else to be pre-occupied and be happy with. Right now, I can be extremely happy one day, then the next, I feel low...But, I have always been very confident when I am "negative", that all I need to do is cross the line, and move to the positive side...The decision to be happy is still mine to make... im slowly pulling myself up with my own strength. and i get help from those around me.
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10/26/2012 2:05 am |
there's enough hate and negativity out there to drive anyone crazy! but that doesn't mean it has to drive me crazy! no matter what happens, i keep a positive mindset!it takes hard work though. positive thinking and working hard make those dreams come true,thanks for dropping by chickz!
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10/26/2012 2:32 am |
thank you kuya... first and foremost, i look up to him and believe...
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