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| Blogs > Bebong2010 > MY OWN PRIVATE IDAHO |
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i'll tell you why... I can’t sleep and I tell you why… human brain is so fcking complicated that to try to analyze how it works is a mammoth if not impossible task. I will give you an example: most of you know already that I can’t sleep with anybody, so I insisted to have my own room you all know that too. But what you don’t know is the fact that someone gets into his head to follow me around meaning he decided to sleep at the foot of my bed no matter what. In the summer he sleeps in sleeping bag, when the weather gets cold he bundle all the comforter and sheets he could get and each night make a nest anywhere near my bed. I find it fcking outrageous not to mention ridiculous! The idea alone! An emotional blackmail if I see one. He will lay there bundled up like a baby looking so innocent while we have four huge rooms available including his! And I will sit on my bed pondering why on earth he is doing this??? He said he wants to be with me, okay understandable; but not to the point of doing crazy exorbitant, extortionate, steep, unconscionable, usurious shocking unheard of thing such as this for heaven’s sakes! I fell guilty. I know I don’t suppose to feel that way for it is not my fault, but I feel condemned and wicked nonetheless. We discussed debated argued fought about this matter countless times and his reasons varied from: “it’s nothing-I’m comfortable-don’t worry-I’m okay-this is what I want” to “it’s none of your business-what are you getting angry about- I know what I’m doing-it’s surely not a crime” sort of excuses. The bottom line is: I can’t sleep any other way. So, tonight we try to move to his room. Same argument. So here I am blogging when I supposed to be not blogging but_ I just want to air my sentiment. There folks. Now you have it.  only dead fish go with the flow ~ JolieLaide |
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1/5/2011 5:40 pm |
Shown above is D.s room located east at the front side of the house facing the streets (while mine is south facing looking down at the back garden) here I go when I want to spy (ha ha) on the neighbours. I can see everything from up here especially from the third floor for our house is a lot taller than most buildings in our neighbourhood. A lot of times I want to take pictures of him lying there on the floor like a crumpled baggage but out of respect I didn’t. He is just a little boy it seems. A little boy I cannot figure out. only dead fish go with the flow ~ JolieLaide
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1/5/2011 7:13 pm |
that bed must be so noisy when you two are together  love is the greatest gift of all 
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Bebs, I love those mosquito curtains on the bed. It's so cozy!!! He loves you so much. My ex before would kill me if i slept in another room or the living room. Greatest feelings in the world when two souls profess a love for each other...
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1/6/2011 12:35 am |
Bebz, I can feel the emptiness of this room..And what I do not understand is why you allow him to follow you in the same room when you want your own space.To my understanding, if he is some sort of a gay, he'd not push you to the limits in terms of privacy inside your own private home. I wouldn't be able to sleep either. I'd insist that he leaves you alone, to the very least, during your sleeping hours. How hard is that? Just call me ELZ 
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1/6/2011 2:51 am |
that bed must be so noisy when you two are together it made of very solid material and standing firm on the floor quite heavy too and we do it on the floor on the front of the mirror (ha ha joking) only dead fish go with the flow ~ JolieLaide
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1/6/2011 2:52 am |
Bebs, I love those mosquito curtains on the bed. It's so cozy!!! He loves you so much. My ex before would kill me if i slept in another room or the living room. only dead fish go with the flow ~ JolieLaide
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1/6/2011 2:58 am |
Bebz, I can feel the emptiness of this room..And what I do not understand is why you allow him to follow you in the same room when you want your own space.To my understanding, if he is some sort of a gay, he'd not push you to the limits in terms of privacy inside your own private home. I wouldn't be able to sleep either. I'd insist that he leaves you alone, to the very least, during your sleeping hours. How hard is that? the thing about him is...he's so vulnerable and fragile looking and so innocent and seems endlessly offering and sacrificing himself that i wonder if that is his tactics to get what he wants playing victim, manipulating ba he's confusing me enormously if i lock him out he gonna sleep on the front of the door till eternity he's simply too good to be true only dead fish go with the flow ~ JolieLaide
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1/6/2011 3:07 am |
i believe in destiny but if all the things i have experienced and done will only lead to this... than life is ironic indeed he believes that we were born for each other that i only stayed 20 years with my ex because he still have to grow up for if we have met earlier, we cannot end up together so, according to him everything we did before were only some preparation for being together, including having kids with someone else because he can't have any. that i destined to be older than him because he needs guidance and mother figure and he younger because i need somebody who could take care of me for my health is not that great. he got lots of this theories which for me are sometimes far fetch but he believes holy in them that's why he cannot give up he said and if i ever divorce him he will spend the rest of his life trying to get me back which is for me BS. he cannot even manage to keep me how on earth he could get me back? the place will be sold and we will split the profit if he wants to stay, he has to pay me off and vice versa only dead fish go with the flow ~ JolieLaide
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1/6/2011 3:20 am |
anyone knows where is Princess? after she sent me an email i didn't hear from her again and res, belle, and so many others like maccutelei and i saw tink everytime in my blog but i guess she is still invisible so does aloofa sometimes i have to post my article 3 times to get through i notice this especially if i'm not blogging for a long time only dead fish go with the flow ~ JolieLaide
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1/7/2011 3:59 am |
for seven years? for a short sentence, your comment is packed with (hidden)meaning i can read "sick, 6yrs of age, new,& puppy" translated as: psychotic, obsessed, infantile, fleeting and indeed pet things i me myself think also when jokingly i told the story to his father during xmas dinner (silly big mouth tactless me) he called his son lame and naive which ended the dinner at exactly 21:00 3 hours after we arrived God knows what his mother will do to me when she finds out only dead fish go with the flow ~ JolieLaide
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1/7/2011 6:02 am |
why it is that i always come across psychotic people? i had a suitor who sleeps outside our gate if i refused to see him. another guy who jumped from the roof of their house because i don't want him breaking his arm and leg. a 17 years old who serenaded me on his knees. a boyfriend that only wanted to walk on empty streets with me for the fear of me seeing more handsome guy than he is. he also ran with a big bolo after anyone who dares to look at me and so on. another one who upon seeing me on his way to work followed me to our province and stayed. a guy who almost choked me to death because he thought a neighbour was in love with me. a 14 years old who insisted we are soulmates and a man who is willing to kill his bestfriend for me. i encountered all of those and more. only dead fish go with the flow ~ JolieLaide
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1/7/2011 2:36 pm |
is this the new word for this year antonio? only dead fish go with the flow ~ JolieLaide
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1/8/2011 3:43 pm |
 good very interesting sorry borrowed yours only dead fish go with the flow ~ JolieLaide
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