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story and f*cks of life (smiley said)  First time …for me posting a blog asking question. But at this very crucial moment, I need a second unbiased honest opinion from people who are not closely involved with the matter at hand. I can post it also in the magz, but for obvious and not obvious reasons; I decided not to. So, here it is; straight and coming from the heart: (drama) Is everyone deserves a second chance??? I promise to value each and every serious opinions/suggestions/views You people care to impart. Thank you in advance. only dead fish go with the flow ~ JolieLaide |
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9/15/2010 5:45 pm |
try to keep your words soft and sweet in case you need to eat them only dead fish go with the flow ~ JolieLaide
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9/15/2010 6:27 pm |
Bebs, I was going to post here or sa mags. About "doesn't anyone believe in love anymore"? I mean just look at Zza Gabor and Elizabeth Taylor with 8 husbands(except Liz married Burt twice). They took the risk with these men and trying to find that second chances. Really would love to have a second chance with someone. It would all take away that pain from past experiences... Almost the weekend and enjoy!!! 
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if the second chance is with a new one, why not?! if it is with the same old one, you know it better! 
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9/15/2010 7:55 pm |
i don't believe in the big L anymore (i gave that up a long time ago) but i still believe in partnership a sort of understanding where two people could live together in harmony and mutual respect leading a peaceful and comfortable life without using each other. i want to be with someone i could trust, i could believe, somebody i know would be there no matter what.someone i could look up to and can educate me because life is a learning process. that person doesn't have to be in love with me. he could be gay too for all i care. only dead fish go with the flow ~ JolieLaide
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9/15/2010 11:20 pm |
Of course everyone deserve unless you choose to stay in your shell.This is not the end of the world yet to give up,no matter what the past left us we need to get up and move again.If there is a second chance,why not?take it with both hands if its really helps you to heal the past. hmmm gwaps yung partner mo ehhhehe.
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9/15/2010 11:53 pm |
thanks for taking your time to pass by only dead fish go with the flow ~ JolieLaide
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9/16/2010 12:00 am |
Bebs, I was going to post here or sa mags. About "doesn't anyone believe in love anymore"? I mean just look at Zza Gabor and Elizabeth Taylor with 8 husbands(except Liz married Burt twice). They took the risk with these men and trying to find that second chances. Really would love to have a second chance with someone. It would all take away that pain from past experiences... Almost the weekend and enjoy!!! if one gets burned a few times, you might say one will learn to stay away from the kitchen but what those people were thinking??? you mean the cure for heartaches is another heart they say that is the fastest way to healing (if history doesn't repeat itself of course) thanks for the input Tess have a wonderful weekend only dead fish go with the flow ~ JolieLaide
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9/16/2010 12:01 am |
if the second chance is with a new one, why not?! if it is with the same old one, you know it better! people cannot change mr. sulei? only dead fish go with the flow ~ JolieLaide
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9/16/2010 12:03 am |
sounds an open invitation to do whatever again only dead fish go with the flow ~ JolieLaide
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9/16/2010 12:07 am |
Of course everyone deserve unless you choose to stay in your shell.This is not the end of the world yet to give up,no matter what the past left us we need to get up and move again.If there is a second chance,why not?take it with both hands if its really helps you to heal the past. hmmm gwaps yung partner mo ehhhehe. but if you bump your head twice, would you not (try to)bend the next time? about the partner... he's not only gwaps he never been married before also and 11 years  younger than me  only dead fish go with the flow ~ JolieLaide
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1 post 9/16/2010 3:38 am |
Yes of course
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hi bebz.. with every separation trauma follows. every separation could be for a different reason and i know that it would be unfair to judge every partnership as destined to fail. in my case i was married for 13 years and had a partner for 5 years. i could have a hand in that however minimal but i know that i was a good girl and kept my part of the responsibilities, much more, and both have realized that later, owing to their efforts to get me back. if you ask me about second chances, i guess it is alright if you are sure that you can put up with THE SAME because men don't change, they will have the same insecurities and attitudes only kept secret for another opportunity to resurrect in the future. it is also possible that if you get a third partner that he will be worse or if lucky, be what you envisioned to be but that is like playing the lottery. i have kids and they worth more to me than anyone or anything and i make that clear in the beginning of any budding relationship. it is that fact that makes me stop and think it over and over and over again this time. there are a few eligible men showing interest of different status in life and much younger than me and as a normal and healthy woman, i love the attention. but this time i will only take friendship and nothing more until i am sure what road to take.
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actually, i think the second chance is about the woman -- if she will decide to take the man back, all the bad and the good but specially the bad that was kept secret from her before they cohabitate, and not necessarily taking him back because he shows temporary amnesia.
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9/16/2010 6:41 am |
Yes of course only dead fish go with the flow ~ JolieLaide
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9/16/2010 6:51 am |
for the record: he never abuse me physically, nor disrespect me in anyway and there is no third party either. my bestfriend says the reason why i wanted to terminate the relationship is because i'm bored and he is too good for me (now u know why i ask the question here) my son said he is a treasure of a man and my daughter said: "mama, there bound to be something wrong with anybody around you since nobody is perfect and that is the trouble with you." i say one needs a PHD in psychology to understand the problems of a seemingly more than a perfect partner who has so many layers it takes years for one to discover each and every one of these not to mention scratching the top surface first. only dead fish go with the flow ~ JolieLaide
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9/16/2010 7:01 am |
but since i don't have a degree in psychology (yet) all that i have is a hunch and an acute feeling that there is something wrong somehow somewhere. and i have nothing to back my theories but some occasional lapses from him like buying the wrong gift, too slow to understand, being TOO NEEDY! and very much around it chokes! to acting like he is still living at home, treating me like an invalid, and there is no backbone which my son answered: "how that happened? isn't he forsaken his whole entire family just for you?" i have a very strong feeling that he is trying to isolate and manipulate me into some unknown corners, which my mother called a product of my over-active imagination and i'm not getting any younger she added. only dead fish go with the flow ~ JolieLaide
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9/16/2010 7:13 am |
i know what you mean Princess... and i will be a hypocrite if i say no, it never bothers me. in the beginning it never did since i look okay and a lot younger than my age but lately that matters even bothers me in my sleep in the form of dreams (while awake i rarely think about it but i know i'm good at denying unsettling things) he said he knows from day one that i'm older and therefore going to grow old first but he still marry me because he said that's everyone's destination and imagine each person who is married going to dump ones partner once they reach a certain age... he got a point. only he needs to convince me only dead fish go with the flow ~ JolieLaide
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9/16/2010 7:17 am |
but i never see it as a major issue in our relationship it certainly contributed to the facts but i will never end a marriage because of my none existent self confidence and low self esteem i am not that far yet only dead fish go with the flow ~ JolieLaide
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9/16/2010 7:19 am |
are you serious Princess? i hold you to it  only dead fish go with the flow ~ JolieLaide
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9/16/2010 7:30 am |
hi bebz.. with every separation trauma follows. every separation could be for a different reason and i know that it would be unfair to judge every partnership as destined to fail. in my case i was married for 13 years and had a partner for 5 years. i could have a hand in that however minimal but i know that i was a good girl and kept my part of the responsibilities, much more, and both have realized that later, owing to their efforts to get me back. if you ask me about second chances, i guess it is alright if you are sure that you can put up with THE SAME because men don't change, they will have the same insecurities and attitudes only kept secret for another opportunity to resurrect in the future. it is also possible that if you get a third partner that he will be worse or if lucky, be what you envisioned to be but that is like playing the lottery. i have kids and they worth more to me than anyone or anything and i make that clear in the beginning of any budding relationship. it is that fact that makes me stop and think it over and over and over again this time. there are a few eligible men showing interest of different status in life and much younger than me and as a normal and healthy woman, i love the attention. but this time i will only take friendship and nothing more until i am sure what road to take. speaking of children: they are holy to me. there is no man going to stand above them. i said to D. in the beginning, if you have troubles with my children one way or another; you're the one who's going to fly out, no questions ask. in 7 years we are together... there is no single incident. my kids adore him and the feeling is mutual only dead fish go with the flow ~ JolieLaide
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9/16/2010 7:52 am |
actually, i think the second chance is about the woman -- if she will decide to take the man back, all the bad and the good but specially the bad that was kept secret from her before they cohabitate, and not necessarily taking him back because he shows temporary amnesia. about the amnesia... i have loads of experience about it in my first marriage. and i'm cursing myself to this day for being so naive. but i have learned from the past and maybe i learned too much that the margin for mistakes becomes too narrow one can barely see it. in my current relationship, he is always willing to admit everything i accused him doing and asking forgiveness even he doesn't understand what it is he is being sorry about only dead fish go with the flow ~ JolieLaide
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9/16/2010 8:07 am |
sometimes i have a very serious doubts with what i'm doing regarding this matter. how many times i ask myself if i'm about to commit the biggest mistake (i thought that was marrying my ex)in my life by throwing away a perfectly alright relationship simply because i don't feel good about it for the reasons which aren't exactly grounded? but then again... isn't it this is what it's all about? feeling good in a union that supposed to lasts? how about instinct? hunch? does it counts? i don't want to go to bed at night thinking: THIS IS IT??? they say if one doubts, don't do it, but it cuts both ways, doesn't it? my bestfriend says the only trouble she's seeing is an empty nest syndrome and me having much too much time to think and conjure up things. she suggested that since i have a very big house in the middle of country tourism that i have to start a B&B. good for me good for the weed. we both have something to distract ourselves and not constantly in each others way. i don't know. i'm not sure about this... only dead fish go with the flow ~ JolieLaide
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9/16/2010 8:52 am |
here is one example: early this year he made me quit my job because of my hernia and RA but i insisted to keep working even if only for my so called Independence. he then offered me a job to be his personal assistant and quality control coordinator (it means being a boss to over 30 engineers) i said i have no experience with this matter. he said it's nothing. what important is the rare quality of being a leader and excellent talent in organizing and reading people plus an iron will to push the quality of work he wants to deliver. he said for all that he is, he doesn't have those talents because people frightened him. therefore he needs me. he educate me in technical terms and after few courses and seminars, he pronounced i'm ready. my job is to organize for him, to follow the progress of technical works among his engineers and see if they are doing what they're supposed to be doing. i am also expected to travel ahead of him to meet potential clients and make demands because he's not good at it either. in short, i have to manage the manager. he refused projects if they are not willing to take me on board saying he needs one person he could fully trust internally to keep an eye on things and bring unbiased reports. he said my self righteous nature would not allow me to be corrupt within the company and he encouraged me to always be what i am no matter what. i see this as a shrouded manipulation to have me completely in his power but go along anyway because i am not certain and i don't want to be a nurse in the first place anyway only dead fish go with the flow ~ JolieLaide
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9/16/2010 8:56 am |
hi bebz.. with every separation trauma follows. every separation could be for a different reason and i know that it would be unfair to judge every partnership as destined to fail. in my case i was married for 13 years and had a partner for 5 years. i could have a hand in that however minimal but i know that i was a good girl and kept my part of the responsibilities, much more, and both have realized that later, owing to their efforts to get me back. if you ask me about second chances, i guess it is alright if you are sure that you can put up with THE SAME because men don't change, they will have the same insecurities and attitudes only kept secret for another opportunity to resurrect in the future. it is also possible that if you get a third partner that he will be worse or if lucky, be what you envisioned to be but that is like playing the lottery. i have kids and they worth more to me than anyone or anything and i make that clear in the beginning of any budding relationship. it is that fact that makes me stop and think it over and over and over again this time. there are a few eligible men showing interest of different status in life and much younger than me and as a normal and healthy woman, i love the attention. but this time i will only take friendship and nothing more until i am sure what road to take. about third partner... you're right. it's like shooting in the darkness. that's why i'm toying with the idea of a second chance. he doesn't smoke he doesn't drink don't go out seemingly devoted has a great job a wonderful career education breeding not womanizer understanding to the point of patronizing calm and through and through boring adore me in a putting-on-a-pedestal-sort of way so loyal it's boxing me in why on earth i have a feeling that THIS IS NOT IT??? why marry him one might ask. my son has a perfect explanation for it. (he usually has) he said: " because mama, after 20 years of roller coaster ride with papa; that time, that(peace) is what you needed." okay he is lacking in the passion department. but isn't passion a fleeting thing? they say it usually ends within two years only dead fish go with the flow ~ JolieLaide
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9/16/2010 8:59 am |
true and true thanks for the lovely red butterflies they bring smile to my bleak day only dead fish go with the flow ~ JolieLaide
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