the real score why its hard at my age to fall in love!  

younglooking55 10/31/2009 5:17 pm	yes i have a hard time falling in love. its been almost a decade since the last time i fall in love. i guess with age comes the wisdom of experience, that one is better off than complicating one's life in the name of love. simplicity of life brings along with it an extraordinary opportunity to enjoy living a life not predicated on having relationship exclusively with someone like boy meets girl. you can always do whatever you want and what pleases you without hurting one's feelings or being answerable to one. yes i went out last night with my women friends (one of them was my platonic) and we had a blast. this is only shared as a point of reference that one can still have a blast in living a life without that special someone "boy meets girl." i have interactions and conversations with women everyday specially on the weekdays, and sometimes they want to see me on the weekends too. 3 of them i have became their sounding board for what bothers them or when they want my point of view. these are beautiful women in their early 30s, driven and career oriented too. i have regular lunch and dinner date with anyone of them and all of them knew my special relationship with the other. but i spend most of my time with my platonic friend. just like most everyone i went to the processes and experiences of love like puppy love, first love and other loves that were heart based or emotional based. this time at my age if i have to fall in love, it must be practical love. practical love is knowing who she is over a period of time. she must meet the test of the ten or 13 reasons to dislike me that i previously wrote in my blogs. my preponderance of enjoying, staying and being successful in love is if its a practical love. in practical love like in any other love there is also an attraction between the two of you. but you bring it 3 or 4 times notch higher by considering other qualities of both of you that will sort of give the highest preponderance of success of that relationship. practical love is forward looking. unlike emotional love that is sometimes spur of the moment thing that unravels to a point of disappointment by knowing that after the passion wanes, they could no longer stand each other and with regrets of having went into that relationship. emotional love is seldom forward looking about the practicalities of sustaining that love other than passion. in practical love, i do consider her sensibilities. is she down to earth? does she reacts easily or annoyed easily? does she has the wisdom of experience of living a life of successes and likewise disappointments? is she condescending or not? does she has the patience to understand or does she embrace the understanding that we are all uniquely different? in practical love, the way she treats others too is very important specially in dealings with the less fortunate, less educated and those who really have less in life - is she imposing in that regards and displaying an arrogant attitude of entitlement? is she forgiving or she holds on to the grudges devilishly forever that it affects her relationship with others and her own quality of life? can she pause and think for a moment before she decides or before expressing that barrages of insults and irrational behavior to others that displeases her and not in conformity with her attitude and expectation? and if she does, could she find herself remorseful of the things that were said wrongly and even accusatory? can she forgive or better yet can she initiate offering the olive branch? if you are also into practical love, please let me know and perhaps you can join me in a voyage of discovery that will culminate in an endearing and enduring relationship, totally not based or is independent from the spur of the moment of passion.
younglooking55 1310 posts 10/31/2009 6:34 pm	in practical love, there is certainty that she won't turn in into a monster after the deal is sealed.
younglooking55 1310 posts 10/31/2009 6:56 pm	there is a higher degree of commitment once practical love is sealed and not easily can be broken or put into asunder. in the process of developing that practical love, intimate activities is secondary. activities are mostly engaging in many respects characterized by truthfulness and honesty and then fashioning out the way forward for that successful relationship based on practical love. however later that intimate activities will be intense and fulfilling because both of you knows that its for the long haul.
younglooking55 1310 posts 10/31/2009 7:07 pm	in practical love, there are few surprises. if there are, its considered as a minor irritants and are negotiable. issues are solved through a thought process instead of emotionally based reaction. there are absence of shouting and maligning each other intentions in practical love when issues are hard to be solved.
younglooking55 1310 posts 10/31/2009 7:51 pm	practical love is normally develop through a series of meetings through a cup of coffee, where both discusses many things about life including such as fears, aspirations and on how do they want to see themselves in the relationship in few years. they also willingly discusses what they are bringing into the relationship and in what ways both are willing to develop that practical love that will sustain the test of time. seriousness of the marriage discussion is part of the process of developing that practical love too.
younglooking55 1310 posts 10/31/2009 9:03 pm	practical love once developed and then sealed, it much better and more emotional than the emotional based love. both understand that the voyage of the relationship based on practical love will endure the test of time, and therefore the seriousness of the commitment to each other is never in doubt. its galvanized in knowing that they are meant for each other the rest of their lives.
younglooking55 1310 posts 10/31/2009 9:45 pm	those who are willing to consider practical love seldom closed the opportunity to know someone. they readily say yes to an invitation for a cup of coffee and consider every opportunity as an interesting engaging process to know someone more profoundly, deeply and then seriously. they are also easy to be understood. when they say no, its meant no. and maybe for them is process for further deliberations or a sign of hope. they are not into games into testing how sincere you are. the test of sincerity comes later when all things are considered and felt that the practical love will work for both of them. they too are not judgmental and they do understand that outside beauty does not last forever, but the qualities one does bring to the relationship does.
younglooking55 1310 posts 11/1/2009 12:30 am	initially in practical love there is no exclusivity. both dates or see as many as they could or sips as many different brands of coffee as they could, until they finally settled for someone based on many aspects that they agreed on that will guarantee the high preponderance of the success of the relationship. but once they do agreed they are the one, then they becomes exclusive. in practical love there is no rejection because both comes in with an open mind and understanding that they are looking for something that will be both complimentary to each or with each other. in the absence of such, both just gladly walk away with no bruise ego or the like. i certainly would not go into a practical love with someone whose life is already set on the weekends or have already embedded routines in their lives and not changeable or negotiable. weekends for me is so important that i will not allow it to be spent other than being with each other. of course there are some exceptions. but please spare me of attending many bdays, extended family activities and or friends activities that will be detrimental to our relationship. walk in the park on the weekends is very nurturing than being with the whole clan or extended families.