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When One Is Too Much and Many Is Not Enough..... And you think I am kidding? No!...Yes, it happens to everyone. Sometimes, we have that one and only love of our life and yet, we feel suffocated, we feel chained, we feel choked with everything that goes with a romantic relationship. On the contrary, sometimes, we have a lot, meaning, too many prospective "aspirants", and yet, we find none of them to really fit into our world of romance. Why is that? I mean, come to think of it. I am not begging for anyone to come into my life, but those who come just seem to be not the ones I really choose to be with. And the ones I think I'd like to give a chance for love to grow are either pre-occupied with something or someone, or really not into serious relationships. Isn't it weird? People cannot believe that I don't have anyone "official" for the longest time. And I keep telling myself: "No, there is nothing wrong with you."...Sometimes, we just have to meet a lot of wrong people in order for us to meet the right (not the perfect) one. Sometimes, I blame all those who "spoiled" me, because, since then, I find it so hard to develop a new relationship without having to think that I should get even 50% of what they've done to me. Is my heart simply calloused? is too critical? or is it too afraid?...I envy those who can be with someone and yet love somebody else. There's no way I can force myself doing such. No offense meant. To each his/her own. This is just me. I guess, I deserve to be alone...and just be content to be JOYFULLY SINGLE...but sometimes, lonely.   ELZ  |
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1/15/2008 10:19 pm |
well said... love is really hard to explain yet such a wonderful feeling... regarding with this>>> I envy those who can be with someone and yet love somebody else. >>> NO! don't or should I say never envy those situation coz i'm telling you its very complicated  ... I rather envy you JOYFULLY SINGLE. HOw i wish i am too....   AnGeL UndErNeATh
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1/15/2008 11:00 pm |
as i am    Have a nice day ! 
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1/15/2008 11:43 pm |
Dee, It's really hard to be with someone and love another! What's the point in that. But, as you say to each his own. There are a lot out there. Being alone isn't too bad, but really lonely at times. Once i got to the point "wow is this all there is to life"? Because when I was married felt so suffocated. Then when you turned single you become so all alone and that's a scary feeling!!! Right!!! And you have to keep saying, "i'll get through this". High water or else. Anyways, all we can do is just enjoy life as it comes. Leave for today and have fun!!!
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1/16/2008 12:51 am |
as always my friend, your thoughts are well written and you convey the contents of your heart... if there is one gift we have been given as women..it is that we get to choose from among the several men who try to win our heart, who is the best among them all..  its easier to decide when one is younger as there are less things to be wary about.. every aspect of a young love is hopeful. as one matures, a lot of other important issues come into play.. and u make your decision to love and accept love based on, not just your own personal happiness, but also on how others may be affected by it.. and then, you decide... i find nothing odd with being friends with people you have had special feelings for in the past..for you do not need to lose the friendship that came with that special love you had with that person... as long as you know, in your heart, with regards to love, you have already put a closure to that.. but this is just my own opinion.. most probably, the reason why at this point and time, love has not settled in yet..is it's because God has someone better in mind for you..in that thought i am always hopeful. in the end my friend...it will be where the heart and mind will be most comfortable.. wow...what a nice number... 143.. MARIE
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well said... love is really hard to explain yet such a wonderful feeling... regarding with this>>> I envy those who can be with someone and yet love somebody else. >>> NO! don't or should I say never envy those situation coz i'm telling you its very complicated ... I rather envy you JOYFULLY SINGLE. HOw i wish i am too.... ELZ
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as i am ELZ
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Dee, It's really hard to be with someone and love another! What's the point in that. But, as you say to each his own. There are a lot out there. Being alone isn't too bad, but really lonely at times. Once i got to the point "wow is this all there is to life"? Because when I was married felt so suffocated. Then when you turned single you become so all alone and that's a scary feeling!!! Right!!! And you have to keep saying, "i'll get through this". High water or else. Anyways, all we can do is just enjoy life as it comes. Leave for today and have fun!!! ELZ
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ImAllHeartNSoul <<< "as always my friend, your thoughts are well written and you convey the contents of your heart..." Marie, it's 2008, and I'm thinking "I am not getting any younger"...Where do I go from here? ELZ
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ImAllHeartNSoul <<< "if there is one gift we have been given as women..it is that we get to choose from among the several men who try to win our heart, who is the best among them all.." And like I always tell my friends, I am not that young anymore who have the liberty of putting "admirers" on hold, because men these days are quite impatient..They are likened to butterflies. They move from one flower to another, most of the time preferring the buds than the full bloomed flowers. The competition is way too steep. ELZ
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ImAllHeartNSoul <<< "its easier to decide when one is younger as there are less things to be wary about.. every aspect of a young love is hopeful. as one matures, a lot of other important issues come into play.. and u make your decision to love and accept love based on, not just your own personal happiness, but also on how others may be affected by it.. and then, you decide..." And that used to be the determinant why I held on being single for a long time. It wasn't all about me, but all about my only son. He was and still is (although not that much anymore) a part of the "package deal". The difference now is that I am planning to "detach" myself from him for his own good. ELZ
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ImAllHeartNSoul <<< "i find nothing odd with being friends with people you have had special feelings for in the past..for you do not need to lose the friendship that came with that special love you had with that person... as long as you know, in your heart, with regards to love, you have already put a closure to that.. but this is just my own opinion.." That, too, is my setback. I tend to read more to it when the old "flame" continues to communicate, specially when the gesture is such that he sends stuff and say words being sent and said only to people still in a "relationship". I'd rather choose to leave things behind me...Gosh, I even have a problem being friends with someone who courted me in the past, with whom I had to "refuse" the love being offered..But then, it's just me. ELZ
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ImAllHeartNSoul << "most probably, the reason why at this point and time, love has not settled in yet..is it's because God has someone better in mind for you..in that thought i am always hopeful. in the end my friend...it will be where the heart and mind will be most comfortable.. " It's the same thought and hope I always keep inside my heart since the advent of New Year. HIS will be done...I am very tired travelling along the crossroads..I think, I have had enough of them. I need to reach the sweet "dead end" in this life of romance. THANK YOU FOR WRITING YOUR WONDERFUL THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS BLOG, MARIE...MY APPRECIATION! ELZ
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hmmm.. you just confirm the study about human emotions -- that women don't love men; when men show some attraction towards a female, it also doesn't mean he is in love just yet -- the men attracted to you were triggered by something in you but you have to activate their love if you are likewise attracted to them << thats when it starts to be Mlove for them & infatuation in your part dee.. OR the interest on the men's part just fizzles out in a nano second -- those FFF winks that i receive in the email is a good example of that... men will try to send as many winks as to as many women they have a slight interest for, its just like a kind of probe... actually when i think about it, its kinda the men are also trying to find out if they are that irresistible to women lol you TC now dee dear
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hmmm.. you just confirm the study about human emotions -- that women don't love men; when men show some attraction towards a female, it also doesn't mean he is in love just yet -- the men attracted to you were triggered by something in you but you have to activate their love if you are likewise attracted to them << thats when it starts to be Mlove for them & infatuation in your part dee.. OR the interest on the men's part just fizzles out in a nano second -- those FFF winks that i receive in the email is a good example of that... men will try to send as many winks as to as many women they have a slight interest for, its just like a kind of probe... actually when i think about it, its kinda the men are also trying to find out if they are that irresistible to women lol you TC now dee dear ELZ
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by nature men and women are different when it comes to love...women are looking for long lasting love while typical men are looking for fun and good time...
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by nature men and women are different when it comes to love...women are looking for long lasting love while typical men are looking for fun and good time... ELZ
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Jack, you are right. Sometimes, I do feel loving myself less, only because I have loved my family and my son and other people more than myself, so much so that there is very little left for me. I know that is wrong, and this 2008, I am going to change just that. I WILL LOVE MYSELF MORE...Thank you as usual for making an impact on my blogs. ELZ
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This is so beautiful CAT!..Allow me to expound on them one by one. Thank you! ELZ
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chinatree <<< "Most of the time we tend to think that we get attracted to the wrong man until the right one comes along. " ******************************************************************** Exactly what most of us feel, er, as a matter of fact, that is how I feel. But then again, they say, there is no such thing as wrong love. The person may not be right for us, but the love that we feel is always right. LOVE IS UNCONDITIONAL, and it can be really BLIND. It doesn't have to see, it only has to feel. ELZ
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chinatree <<< "When the relationship fizzles, we feel that the only kind of man we're really attracted to is a "Bad Boy"." ******************************************************************************** Cat, when we are hurting, we can always think of the worst description for that particular person, but that is just an initial reaction. It will change as soon as we feel better. ELZ
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chinatree <<< "Where at first he comes on so sweet and attentive - until he hooks you emotionally - and then you wonder why you're up crying in the middle of the night? " ************************************************************************************************************** That's exactly what happened to me for the past 2006-2007.Men can spoil us in so many ways (materially, emotionally,physically), and I find it so hard to recover when we are hooked up emotionally. When it is over, it leaves a deep scar, not only in our hearts but also in our ego. ELZ
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chinatree <<< "When we hurt we tend to swear off this kind of man but keep finding ourself falling for one who doesn't treat us the way we deserve. But in due time we gather strength & learn to lift our self-esteem. We get to believe in our love life again - because deep inside we know we can have the relationship we want." **************************************************************************************************************************************** Even in hurting, we go through stages of denial, grief, hate, acceptance and resolution. The worse thing that can happen is when we blame ourselves for the failure of such a relationship. We tend to rationalize, and we feed our hurting ego. Then, at times, we may "curse", but our faith in God, will remove that bitterness in our hearts. Slowly, we come to realize that things happen for a reason, and we just have to be thankful for the good times that the previous relationship offered us. When a man tells me :"You will always have a special place in my heart", I just smile, because only two things can happen in the future..MAYBE IT'S TRUE, OR MAYBE IT'S JUST HIS WAY OF MAKING ME FEEL BETTER. More than likely, as he moves on, I will just be a part of his memory bank, faded,and amongst his cluttered data base. ELZ
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And yes, we gotta believe in our lovelife again, absolutely. For me, it doesn't matter if we get married or not. WE WILL FALL IN LOVE AGAIN, and for as long as we live, there is hope that we can have the relationship that we want. ELZ
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And that is very true. Lessons learned are our constant reminders. ELZ
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Losing someone to another initially makes us angry, and oftentimes, we direct that anger to the object of that loss. Then, later on, we realize that we are also angry at ourselves, because we think we have not done our best to save the situation. Eventually, when things subside, we come to accept that "letting go" maybe a very painful process, but it is the only and best thing to do. ELZ
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