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Blogs > godiva0824 > The Passionate Blogger


godiva0824 63F
2894 posts
8/27/2013 6:57 am
If You Were In My Place, ---What will you do?


I guess, I have to have a report card of what had just happened during my northeast trip..I'm sure, you are all waiting. I am very sorry, I may disappoint you..But there is nothing "spectacular", romance-wise to report. It was a great 6 days bonding time, alright, but it fell short of what each and everyone of you might be expecting. And so, therefore, to make things precise but in detail, I will enumerate some things with the hope that you'll be able to help me out...

1. He is very intelligent, goodlooking, very gentle person, but
he is very sensitive (easy to get hurt)
2. During our brief one-on-one conversations (Golly! he was
always guarded by his 15 and 8 years old daughters)
he would emphasize that I am "lovable", and it ends there.
3. He always mentioned about wishing I were just nearby..
4. He asked my opinion about "marriage", and I told him
upfront, that over the years, my perception of marriage
had changed, and at this point, it's something that I
no longer desire..to which he obviously frowned
ephasizing that he is a Catholic, and no matter how many
times he'd been broken, he will re-marry..then the SILENCE..

I've been thinking, (and I really tried to avoid it) Does he
want more security believing that he'd keep the next person
forever when in fact, he had been broken twice already? There is no guarantee, I said..and therefore, it came to my mind,
that maybe he'll feel more financially secured if the union
is official...But I just kept the thought to myself..he is sensitive after all..Throughout the duration of my stay, I
noticed how doting of a father he is. He also cooked for me,
made sure I was comfortable. He drove me to places. He took
time off from work, to make sure he was with me all those
days...I caught him many times staring at me, but it was just
that...nothing more...There were goodnight pecks on my cheeks and tight hugs (3 times) and I was nervous. Thank God! he was
a true gentleman. I didn't want the to feel threatened.
They adore their father, and I don't want to stand in their way.
At this point, I just feel that HE IS NOT READY..

ELZ


TessRb 64F
7258 posts
8/27/2013 7:35 am

 Elz,

Kung security lang. No way. I always believe men should provide. Hopefully, he will be ready na. Anyways, at least there was some bonding...

Happy Tuesday
Greatest feelings in the world when two souls profess a love for each other...


godiva0824 63F
3469 posts
8/27/2013 10:03 am

 Oh wow! this is a very impressive contribution of thoughts! ...I will wait for more comments so that we can really have a very nice interactions...I thank you already..
ELZ


oldkanaba 73M
2458 posts
8/27/2013 10:14 am

Elz, I have more questions to ask than advice to give, I'll call you when I get back. I was in his situation once so I won't pass judgement on him. Just keep enjoying being single. Lightning strikes when you least expect it.
I'm a senior citizen . Don't expect me to remember anything


godiva0824 63F
3469 posts
8/27/2013 4:02 pm
    Quoting TessRb:
    Elz,

    Kung security lang. No way. I always believe men should provide. Hopefully, he will be ready na. Anyways, at least there was some bonding...

    Happy Tuesday
Sorry to disappoint you Tess. I know that you were one of those very hopeful...But, during the brief conversations, I actually counter-asked him if he is ready to have another relationship. His answer was not very convincing. I cited myself and my "criteria" for readiness. I also told him that if "ever" I enter into another relationship, I want my "own space" in my man's heart, and separate quality attention from him, aside from his children. I frankly told him that at this point, his kids demand most of his time, and it is going to be difficult to take that away from them...
ELZ


godiva0824 63F
3469 posts
8/27/2013 4:14 pm
    Quoting  :
Mr. AB, you are very smart, and honestly, I believe, you are right with your opinion. I find him "okay", but I think, given the chance, I'd like someone whose kids are grown up or are no longer living with him, because mine is..His personality is such that he can be withdrawn. I've known him a bit in High School, but we were not that close. I was with a group of extroverts, while he was mostly in the library studying. Also, the reason why I can sense his unreadiness is the fact that he is into so much with the kids, into finding a much better paying job (he used to work for Pfizer before recession and was making a lot of money), wanting to look for another house/apt. to move in, what and what not. I'm thinking, "where am I supposed to be situated?"...I know myself better than being just another person in his life. My goodness! I was spoiled by my parents, spoiled by the significant others in my life, and I spoil myself..I don't think, I'd settle for something "JUST"....
ELZ


godiva0824 63F
3469 posts
8/27/2013 4:26 pm
    Quoting  :
Ms. Iris, I thank you kindly for your very impressive opinion and citing a very relevant example. To answer your question, Yes! I am attracted to him (intellectually, and physically) enough to give him a chance to take the lead and to prove to me that he is worth having. But through the course of that brief getting to know each other, he showed disappointment as soon as I told him that at this point, I am NOT into marriage. It kinda made me wonder, why would a man be disappointed right away, when he hasn't even courted me officially? What seems to be the rush? What is the motive behind? And I also told him that I cannot be "rushed" at all, that I always take my time before even committing myself to anybody. Why can't a man prove himself first, make all the right moves, show some romance (Dohhhhh! ) and sweep me off my feet. But then again, maybe, he is frustrated also because of the presence of his two daughters most of the time..No PRIVATE moments...We were like a "family" where I played like a visiting surrogate mother..hahahaha!
ELZ


godiva0824 63F
3469 posts
8/27/2013 4:29 pm

 Besides, he told me during our casual conversations that he warned his teenage daughter NOT to have a BF, otherwise, he will have a GF too! ...Meaning, if he starts a relationship with me, it's like giving his daughter the go-signal to be in a relationship too! ...So, guys, be careful what you tell your children, coz, you never know when it's gonna boomerang on you..
ELZ


godiva0824 63F
3469 posts
8/27/2013 4:38 pm
    Quoting oldkanaba:


    Elz, I have more questions to ask than advice to give, I'll call you when I get back. I was in his situation once so I won't pass judgement on him. Just keep enjoying being single. Lightning strikes when you least expect it.
Bert, I can't wait for your call, but I do not want lightning to strike me...I may not live long enough to meet my special someone...lolz.. enjoy the rest of your Philippine stay..
ELZ


godiva0824 63F
3469 posts
8/27/2013 4:39 pm
    Quoting  :
Thanks, Marivic, I am glad that I am not alone in this predicament. It's like, okay, I AM READY, but ARE YOU?
ELZ


godiva0824 63F
3469 posts
8/28/2013 3:30 am
    Quoting  :
Honestly, my BFF, I was prepared for some romance, but you know me, (I'm a Modern Maria Clara) I won't initiate it. Two things that turned me off was when he said he didn't want LDR (Long Distance Relationship) anymore, and that he wants marriage....Those were an like ice splashes on my face...I guess, you can relate with your Lee, where he didn't want to relocate to CA...
ELZ


TessRb 64F
7258 posts
8/28/2013 3:09 pm
    Quoting godiva0824:
    Sorry to disappoint you Tess. I know that you were one of those very hopeful...But, during the brief conversations, I actually counter-asked him if he is ready to have another relationship. His answer was not very convincing. I cited myself and my "criteria" for readiness. I also told him that if "ever" I enter into another relationship, I want my "own space" in my man's heart, and separate quality attention from him, aside from his children. I frankly told him that at this point, his kids demand most of his time, and it is going to be difficult to take that away from them...
Elz,

Yes, i was disappointed. That's were expectation really is a miss and hit sometimes. Kaya, i gave up na rin. Platonic lang after hoping. Oh, well...
Greatest feelings in the world when two souls profess a love for each other...


godiva0824 63F
3469 posts
8/28/2013 7:30 pm
    Quoting  :
Pero Jepoy, bakit ganun? Everytime I am ready to take the chance, it just becomes platonic in the end...? I cannot be accused that I really did not give love a chance after all these years... Hayz...I don't understand why some men would talk about marriage when they have not even touched base.., already talking about the home run..
ELZ


godiva0824 63F
3469 posts
8/28/2013 7:34 pm
    Quoting TessRb:
    Elz,

    Yes, i was disappointed. That's were expectation really is a miss and hit sometimes. Kaya, i gave up na rin. Platonic lang after hoping. Oh, well...
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY TESS..
ELZ


godiva0824 63F
3469 posts
8/29/2013 2:15 am
    Quoting  :
Mr/ AB, I think, waiting for 14 years is long enough to be really PATIENT...lolz..
ELZ


godiva0824 63F
3469 posts
8/29/2013 2:19 am
    Quoting  :
Maia, as conservative as I am, I think, I've given some men, quite a push...I just don't know if it really sinks into them or they just don't get it, because they're so into their own feeling of inadequacies or they're so into themselves, that they fail to see..
ELZ


oldkanaba 73M
2458 posts
8/30/2013 12:48 am

Another one bites the dust
I'm a senior citizen . Don't expect me to remember anything


oldkanaba 73M
2458 posts
8/30/2013 12:52 am
When will it ever be? Oh when will it everrrrrr bee
I'm a senior citizen . Don't expect me to remember anything


godiva0824 63F
3469 posts
8/30/2013 4:10 pm
    Quoting  :
Hhahahaha! Mr. AB, I guess you've known me quite enough to anticipate my responses
ELZ


godiva0824 63F
3469 posts
8/30/2013 4:12 pm
    Quoting  :
My dear, Dehins ko kaya ang maging "ONLY, and JUST"...toinkz...which is why, up to this moment, I am happily SINGLE... But thank you very much for your smart opinion. I really like my readers to be straightforward with their opinions and advices, if any...I truly appreciate it..
ELZ


godiva0824 63F
3469 posts
8/30/2013 4:14 pm
    Quoting oldkanaba:


    Another one bites the dust
Darn, darn, darn!...Another one bites the dust..!!!
ELZ


godiva0824 63F
3469 posts
8/30/2013 4:15 pm
    Quoting oldkanaba:

    When will it ever be? Oh when will it everrrrrr bee
Alam mo, Bert, kasalanan mo lahat ito eh! ...lolz ..You always pressure me into having a man in my life...toinkz...Hayan~ tingnan mo naman..
ELZ


godiva0824 63F
3469 posts
8/30/2013 4:17 pm
    Quoting  :
Maia, all I'm asking is my own space and attention apart from the kids...Whoever will be the lucky guy in the future, if he has kids (na sana grown up na...hayz), we will both love them!
ELZ


godiva0824 63F
3469 posts
8/30/2013 4:19 pm
    Quoting  :
Exactly my point, Jepoy! Natumbok mo as in "bull's eye~!"...Ako pa! eh, bilog kaya ang ulo ko ano?... I wasn't born yesterday, and most definitely, I did not grow old to be foolish...
ELZ


oldkanaba 73M
2458 posts
8/30/2013 8:30 pm
    Quoting godiva0824:
    Alam mo, Bert, kasalanan mo lahat ito eh! ...lolz ..You always pressure me into having a man in my life...toinkz...Hayan~ tingnan mo naman..

Elz, a straight woman is always happier with the right man. That's all I wish for my single lady friends. Here's an excerpt from a song by Atomic Kitten. To all my lady friends:

Don't let your head rule you heart
Don't let your world be torn apart
Don't keep it all to yourself
Just let all your emotions run free with someone like me
That's the way it should be
Someone like me

I'm a senior citizen . Don't expect me to remember anything


godiva0824 63F
3469 posts
8/31/2013 5:32 am
    Quoting oldkanaba:

    Elz, a straight woman is always happier with the right man. That's all I wish for my single lady friends. Here's an excerpt from a song by Atomic Kitten. To all my lady friends:

    Don't let your head rule you heart
    Don't let your world be torn apart
    Don't keep it all to yourself
    Just let all your emotions run free with someone like me
    That's the way it should be
    Someone like me
Oh yeah? Don't you know that EVERYONE in this world is unique? there is no such thing as someone like me.. nor someone like you! Beeeeehhh!!!!...I don't believe in the heart rules...coz even the heartbeats are being dictated by the brain..toinkz..
ELZ




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