Close Please enter your Username and Password
Reset Password
If you've forgotten your password, you can enter your email address below. An email will then be sent with a link to set up a new password.
Cancel
Reset Link Sent
Password reset link sent to
Check your email and enter the confirmation code:
Don't see the email?
  • Resend Confirmation Link
  • Start Over
Close
If you have any questions, please contact Customer Service


godiva0824 63F
2894 posts
5/29/2013 8:24 pm
Does It Matter, Really?



ANGER is a feeling that makes us do and say things that "hurt" others (usually, that is the main objective: to hurt and make others feel really bad). And why do we get angry?...Someone or something triggered it, and our immediate reaction is to get back to the person or to get even, making sure, s/he feels worse than we do...Is that normal? As human beings, I'd say yes...but it gets abnormal if we let it affect us to the point of escalating that momentary anger to HATRED..It takes two to resolve the situation, and at times, at least, one has to swallow his/her pride...Now, that's the most difficult part...If the disparity is between a man and a woman, the former is usually expected to initiate peace offerings. In the family, we were taught that the older gives in to the younger and immature. Sometimes, whoever "left" are expected to come back. It also depends who is obviously at fault...in that case, s/he should make amends. Ego (otherwise known as pride)plays a major role on this one. Most of the time, it's not about the number of years you've known each other..It's about how you value your relationship..That's all that matters, or "Does It Really Matter?"

ELZ


godiva0824 63F
3469 posts
5/30/2013 1:58 am

    Quoting  :

Pam, Thank you so much It's very ideal, and how I wish we all practice this..I must admit that I truly value friendships, specially the ones that I have nurtured over the years, but if it's no longer two-way, then, goodbye is a must...Life goes on, and memories can fade away, little by little, until I get demented..

ELZ


godiva0824 63F
3469 posts
5/30/2013 2:01 am

    Quoting  :

Bhabes, take care of yourself...We are not getting any younger, and we are mostly alone...Oh, I take it back...you have Maylynn with you...and Angel, the adorable dog...Hayz! Muwahs!

ELZ


godiva0824 63F
3469 posts
5/30/2013 2:10 am

    Quoting  :

Thank you! ..And I can speak for myself...It really takes something strong to piss me off, and then, I'd be angry and very vocal about it to the point of being called "mataray"...But once I let the steam out of my chest, I easily forgive (and I've done that to one of the notorious guys here in bloglandia). However, it is about the repeat offender, I have a saturation point, and THAT'S IT!

ELZ


godiva0824 63F
3469 posts
5/30/2013 2:27 am

    Quoting  :

Thank you.. It's good to see you back I won't say anything more than that, but I think I know who you are...Take care, this time

ELZ


godiva0824 63F
3469 posts
5/30/2013 2:29 am

    Quoting  :

Which is why, anger should not progress to hatred. The latter is harder to remove from our hearts..the grudge sometimes linger on much longer..

ELZ


godiva0824 63F
3469 posts
5/30/2013 2:30 am

    Quoting  :

Uglier and with more wrinkles? Deng! mahal magpa Belo...

ELZ


enrique2012 48M

5/30/2013 4:45 am

Aba, busy ka sa blogs mo ah , sunod sunod ang labas. As someone would say, prolific and productive ka lately....

On topic....As I have mentioned in previous blogs, anger in of itself is not necessarily bad; only when it turns into something else ( or misdirected) does it present a problem. Of course, the best course of action is to let the person know why you are mad at them so the situation can be dealt with accordingly. In an ideal situation, anyway. Plus, both sides have to be mature enough to discuss it without both flying off the handle. But as you said, pride can get in the way and it ends up with one party waiting for the other to approach with the other filled with resentment. Lose-lose scenario, di ba?

I believe normal yung reaction to immediately lash out at the offending person - humans are impulsive and our emotions are powerful. Only with experience and maturity do we learn to exercise restraint, and frankly even then mahirap pa ring gawin. How man times have we so-called wise and learned old fogies said things we regret immediately?

Forgiveness is easy - at least to me it is. However, I do not forget and I reckon neither do most. The worse the offense, the worse the memory. Time does not heal wounds; it simply dulls the sharpness.

As in all relationships, communication is the key. Don't take it personally when someone is mad at you, but look at the underlying cause instead. Hah, if only it were that easy huh? Life would be much simpler.

My will is unbreakable. Simply put, I cannot be broken - Enrique


TessRb 64F
7258 posts
5/30/2013 9:25 am

Elz,

This blogs reminds me of my mom and her sis. My mom being the older easily forgave the younger. It's too late since she is dead now. Just some offense is so cruel!!! Only God can forgive that person. We are humans and holds on to anger. It's true though anger held in for so long beoomes poison!!! Comes out in various ailments cancer for one...

Happy thursday

Greatest feelings in the world when two souls profess a love for each other...


godiva0824 63F
3469 posts
5/30/2013 1:10 pm

    Quoting enrique2012:
    Aba, busy ka sa blogs mo ah , sunod sunod ang labas. As someone would say, prolific and productive ka lately....

    On topic....As I have mentioned in previous blogs, anger in of itself is not necessarily bad; only when it turns into something else ( or misdirected) does it present a problem. Of course, the best course of action is to let the person know why you are mad at them so the situation can be dealt with accordingly. In an ideal situation, anyway. Plus, both sides have to be mature enough to discuss it without both flying off the handle. But as you said, pride can get in the way and it ends up with one party waiting for the other to approach with the other filled with resentment. Lose-lose scenario, di ba?

    I believe normal yung reaction to immediately lash out at the offending person - humans are impulsive and our emotions are powerful. Only with experience and maturity do we learn to exercise restraint, and frankly even then mahirap pa ring gawin. How man times have we so-called wise and learned old fogies said things we regret immediately?

    Forgiveness is easy - at least to me it is. However, I do not forget and I reckon neither do most. The worse the offense, the worse the memory. Time does not heal wounds; it simply dulls the sharpness.

    As in all relationships, communication is the key. Don't take it personally when someone is mad at you, but look at the underlying cause instead. Hah, if only it were that easy huh? Life would be much simpler.
Thanks again for the visit and your opinion, Enrique...Yes, actually, this handle is known only for blogging vs eb1209 being busy (formerly) with groups as well. This activity takes the place of my addiction to Candy Crush at FB...nyahahahahaha! For a long time, I ignored invites over there to play any game, but when I finally joined the madness in March of this year, I got hooked to the point of me not sleeping anymore... that bad!...But, thankfully, I removed the game apps from my account and I'm here blabbering again...

ELZ


godiva0824 63F
3469 posts
5/30/2013 1:14 pm

    Quoting enrique2012:
    Aba, busy ka sa blogs mo ah , sunod sunod ang labas. As someone would say, prolific and productive ka lately....

    On topic....As I have mentioned in previous blogs, anger in of itself is not necessarily bad; only when it turns into something else ( or misdirected) does it present a problem. Of course, the best course of action is to let the person know why you are mad at them so the situation can be dealt with accordingly. In an ideal situation, anyway. Plus, both sides have to be mature enough to discuss it without both flying off the handle. But as you said, pride can get in the way and it ends up with one party waiting for the other to approach with the other filled with resentment. Lose-lose scenario, di ba?

    I believe normal yung reaction to immediately lash out at the offending person - humans are impulsive and our emotions are powerful. Only with experience and maturity do we learn to exercise restraint, and frankly even then mahirap pa ring gawin. How man times have we so-called wise and learned old fogies said things we regret immediately?

    Forgiveness is easy - at least to me it is. However, I do not forget and I reckon neither do most. The worse the offense, the worse the memory. Time does not heal wounds; it simply dulls the sharpness.

    As in all relationships, communication is the key. Don't take it personally when someone is mad at you, but look at the underlying cause instead. Hah, if only it were that easy huh? Life would be much simpler.
Back to the topic...It takes two to tango, really...Communication can be easily misunderstood as well, specially if it began in just blogging and had been reinforced by another member's blind item, and there goes the false assumption on both sides..Yeah, I can relate...If you noticed, or have you not noticed it yet? (someone is missing in my blogs for quite a while now) I'm sure, you know what I mean...just PM me if you want further info

ELZ


godiva0824 63F
3469 posts
5/30/2013 1:16 pm

    Quoting TessRb:
    Elz,

    This blogs reminds me of my mom and her sis. My mom being the older easily forgave the younger. It's too late since she is dead now. Just some offense is so cruel!!! Only God can forgive that person. We are humans and holds on to anger. It's true though anger held in for so long beoomes poison!!! Comes out in various ailments cancer for one...

    Happy thursday
Indeed, a lot of us can relate to this, Tess, which is why, when I blog, I find it easy to create one because I always think of what most of us go through life...Have a good weekend, Tess! (almost there)

ELZ


godiva0824 63F
3469 posts
5/30/2013 1:17 pm

    Quoting  :

Aha! just because I started one off-beat blog that made into 6 pages, you thought this was the part 2, yeah? heheheheheh! ...Not this time...

ELZ


godiva0824 63F
3469 posts
5/31/2013 3:27 am

    Quoting  :

Okay, okay,Saving/keeping relationships, or relationships per se, does it really matter these days? or is it just one of those which you can have and lose anytime, and develop a new one?

ELZ


godiva0824 63F
3469 posts
5/31/2013 3:30 am

    Quoting  :

Thanks for the visit, and hello Mr. PL ...It is a given and it is the truth, that no matter how we forgive the person, the "memories" of the offense will still be there, unless one gets an amnesia.....But that doesn't mean that when you remember, you have a grudge...that's what it is..

ELZ


godiva0824 63F
3469 posts
5/31/2013 3:32 am

    Quoting  :

And for that, ANGER should be just a temporary ill feeling, so that the conquest is also transient and you reclaim yourself in peace... Thanks for the quotes..Good reminders.

ELZ


dondelamour 50M

5/31/2013 6:13 am

Anger in friendship is something that may or may not be irreparable. I am thinking of the degree the hurt was done. If it's about damaging one's pride, forgiveness may not be readily given, as self-esteem is man's greatest pride. With physical or emotional damage, it will take sometime to forgive and forget still, yet it is possible that friendship will be returned, but can and will never go back to the same degree.


godiva0824 63F
3469 posts
5/31/2013 12:31 pm

    Quoting dondelamour:
    Anger in friendship is something that may or may not be irreparable. I am thinking of the degree the hurt was done. If it's about damaging one's pride, forgiveness may not be readily given, as self-esteem is man's greatest pride. With physical or emotional damage, it will take sometime to forgive and forget still, yet it is possible that friendship will be returned, but can and will never go back to the same degree.
I cannot disagree with you on this one...This has happened to me and my former HS best friend (we were like sisters), but one stupid person tore us apart just because she was so jealous with our relationship. She spread nasty rumours and it came to a point where cold war was there for months since we didn't want to hurt each other verbally..Until we kinda felt uncomfortable anymore, and once things were cleared a year after...Things were never the same..

ELZ


godiva0824 63F
3469 posts
5/31/2013 12:37 pm

    Quoting  :

Exactly how I feel about it, Shaq..Specially the latter part of your wonderful piece of mind/opinion..If anything, I don't have too many friends, but I value them as if they're my own family. I do give hints, whether I am ready or not. People think I am "mataray" and harsh, but No! those who know me very well know that I am very compassionate and caring...

ELZ


godiva0824 63F
3469 posts
6/1/2013 3:30 am

    Quoting  :

Yeah, I cannot choose my relatives, but I can choose to "stay away" from them...nyahahahahhahaha!

ELZ