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Blogs > mia_belle > On your HORIZONS > I Will Still Rise

I Will Still Rise  

mia_belle
8/8/2009 9:16 am

Last Read:
9/2/2009 4:10 am


Take the clouding from your vision.
Take the padding from your ears.
Then confess you've heard my crying
And admit that you've seen my tears.

Did you want to see me broken?
My head bowed and lowered eyes?
My shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by all of my soulful cries.

You might shoot me with your words.
You might cut me with your eyes.
You will kill me with your hatefulness.
But even then, I will still rise.


*It's all said & done, it's real, and it's been fun.*
jierub
3 posts 

8/20/2009 12:07 am

 Nice poem of persistence and determination you got there... But if I may edit some some lines to achieve consistency and parallelism. I hope you don't mind...
1. Line 2 of 2nd stanza, instead of "My head bowed and lowered eyes", wouldn't it better if we say, "My head bowed and eyes lowered".
2. 2nd from the last line, use of the word "hatred" instead of "hatefulness", hence the line would read "You will kill me with your hatred", instead of "You will kill me with your hatefulness".

Just suggesting...

Fresh_geaR
114 posts 

8/17/2009 9:59 pm

 "You might shoot me with your words.
You might cut me with your eyes.
You will kill me with your hatefulness.
But even then, I will still rise."

that line broke my heart and this piece brought tear to my eyes.
It reminds of a situation I went through.
This is very well put together and worded beautifully.
I'm glad I came to check some of your work.
Amazing write. Well done.

Solid_Bliss
93 posts 

8/17/2009 6:47 am

 Love - a wildly misunderstood
although highly desirable malfunction of the heart
which weakens the brain
, causes eyes to sparkle,
cheeks to glow,
blood pressure to rise
and the lips to pucker.

venusangel
2938 posts 

8/16/2009 9:07 am

 Just the right attitude to face life...

sugarysyrup
970 posts 

8/9/2009 3:15 pm

 there's always a reason for us to Rise and Shine
SuGaR...Aging Like A Fine Wine

poweroflove3

8/9/2009 7:40 am

 Sis,

I know you will rise and meet up with someone who truly loves you very deeply. In life loving the wrong person happens. It's just they love someone else. God has someone for you and have faith... God bless YOU!!!
[I God is pure love...

megz001
168 posts 

8/9/2009 1:11 am

 At some point you have to realize that he doesn't care,
and you could be missing out on someone who actually does.

stigma
93 posts 

8/8/2009 4:54 pm

 This was a truly beautiful piece.
Your emotions were powerfully employed.
Great work!

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