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 | Blogs > jane82 > Cowboy BEeBOP > Barrels of laughs |
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7/4/2008 11:28 am |
Jane, Is this your graduation day? Congratulations!!! Humor is good when taken lightly to diffuse a stressful situation. I seen it standing in line at the Pharmacy. A customer was getting edgy, and this filipina technician goes like that's not the garbage don't throw it there. And dragged whispered something that it was just a diversion. But, at the office full of engineers its so dead! The only guy makes it lively with his food(always asking what they got for lunch). He wasn't that way before. Until i told him about my sister saying, "i don't care about the fat in foods i love foods and when i'm older i can't eat them like right now". With so many health issues on eating fatty foods. But, compare to healthy ones that taste like cardboard, yuk. This guy his head supervisor always says, "no not food again". LOL Oh, here's one at a meeting this lady tried to excuse herself from burping. And was very apologetic. My friend goes don't be because it will come out sooner of later at the other end...LOL
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7/4/2008 3:16 pm |
Janey, you look so gorgeous in your graduation gown but the thought that you made it through is more gorgeous and more wonderful... Joke time: I was reviewing my 6 year old client for his quiz in religious education ( he is with a catholic school) and part of his lesson talks about TRUST...I simply throw him a question to assess if he understood the term trust...I asked, "JP can you tell me your idea what TRUST is?" He said, "yes teacher!!!" " Its a CONDOM with many flavors, I see them on TV." My WHAT?!!!! Echoed to the whole building...well, janey dear....am sure you already know who and which is more influential in the lives of these sweet young angels..   
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7/4/2008 5:36 pm |
right now I would love to share a smile with you if thats ok my friend Have a wonderful weekend and lots of love always  its nice to be important but its more important to be nice
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7/4/2008 11:54 pm |
Yes you really look wonderful in the graduation gown. And CONGRATULATINS Jane!!!!!! If you decide to travel now don't forget where I live 
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7/5/2008 2:55 am |
Jane, Is this your graduation day? Congratulations!!! Humor is good when taken lightly to diffuse a stressful situation. I seen it standing in line at the Pharmacy. A customer was getting edgy, and this filipina technician goes like that's not the garbage don't throw it there. And dragged whispered something that it was just a diversion. But, at the office full of engineers its so dead! The only guy makes it lively with his food(always asking what they got for lunch). He wasn't that way before. Until i told him about my sister saying, "i don't care about the fat in foods i love foods and when i'm older i can't eat them like right now". With so many health issues on eating fatty foods. But, compare to healthy ones that taste like cardboard, yuk. This guy his head supervisor always says, "no not food again". LOL Oh, here's one at a meeting this lady tried to excuse herself from burping. And was very apologetic. My friend goes don't be because it will come out sooner of later at the other end...LOL I completely agree with your sister.   I'm glad when people excuse themselves for making noises because at least they're polite enough to say it, but there also ones who say sorry too often and worry too much....I say lighten up or chill out, not a big deal
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7/5/2008 3:00 am |
Jane, Is this your graduation day? Congratulations!!! Humor is good when taken lightly to diffuse a stressful situation. I seen it standing in line at the Pharmacy. A customer was getting edgy, and this filipina technician goes like that's not the garbage don't throw it there. And dragged whispered something that it was just a diversion. But, at the office full of engineers its so dead! The only guy makes it lively with his food(always asking what they got for lunch). He wasn't that way before. Until i told him about my sister saying, "i don't care about the fat in foods i love foods and when i'm older i can't eat them like right now". With so many health issues on eating fatty foods. But, compare to healthy ones that taste like cardboard, yuk. This guy his head supervisor always says, "no not food again". LOL Oh, here's one at a meeting this lady tried to excuse herself from burping. And was very apologetic. My friend goes don't be because it will come out sooner of later at the other end...LOL Tumatawa hanggang sumasakit na ang pisngi ko. Reminds me what Jac, an FFF friend wrote- Sense of humour can preserve your sanity. Sometimes, one irritation follows another, and before you know it, our day is ruined. My reply, always hope that someone would or could stop the irritation from moving on to another and cheer each other up, even a good massage or tickling would be helpful.
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7/5/2008 3:08 am |
Janey, you look so gorgeous in your graduation gown but the thought that you made it through is more gorgeous and more wonderful... Joke time: I was reviewing my 6 year old client for his quiz in religious education ( he is with a catholic school) and part of his lesson talks about TRUST...I simply throw him a question to assess if he understood the term trust...I asked, "JP can you tell me your idea what TRUST is?" He said, "yes teacher!!!" " Its a CONDOM with many flavors, I see them on TV." My WHAT?!!!! Echoed to the whole building...well, janey dear....am sure you already know who and which is more influential in the lives of these sweet young angels.. Trust must mean feeling safe and content with someone.  This joke about flavoured condoms got me thinking, trust may also work in varying degrees or %. My bf and I tried to figure out last year how much we trust each person we know and seeing who do we give our trust the most.
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7/5/2008 3:11 am |
Thanks very much Ms. Jense. Trust must mean feeling safe and content with someone. This joke about flavoured condoms got me thinking, trust may also work in varying degrees or %. My bf and I tried to figure out last year how much we trust each person we know and seeing who do we give our trust the most.  You're welcome to elaborate any time. I won't find it condescending. Besides I could be smart in specific areas and clueless in other topics. I can't possibly know everything.
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7/5/2008 3:28 am |
Jane, Is this your graduation day? Congratulations!!! Humor is good when taken lightly to diffuse a stressful situation. I seen it standing in line at the Pharmacy. A customer was getting edgy, and this filipina technician goes like that's not the garbage don't throw it there. And dragged whispered something that it was just a diversion. But, at the office full of engineers its so dead! The only guy makes it lively with his food(always asking what they got for lunch). He wasn't that way before. Until i told him about my sister saying, "i don't care about the fat in foods i love foods and when i'm older i can't eat them like right now". With so many health issues on eating fatty foods. But, compare to healthy ones that taste like cardboard, yuk. This guy his head supervisor always says, "no not food again". LOL Oh, here's one at a meeting this lady tried to excuse herself from burping. And was very apologetic. My friend goes don't be because it will come out sooner of later at the other end...LOL it Have you all noticed how common it is for Filipino to make toilet jokes or humour about digestion and excretion or is it my imagination? In British culture, toilet humour is not to everyone's taste, many would find it rude to talk about. Pinoys might have a more varied sense of humour.
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7/5/2008 3:29 am |
In the Philippines, most kids in private schools are forced to speak English at all times. A kid who just came from the province and who barely speaks the language tried his best to do so. One day, the kid needed to go to the bathroom so bad but he didn't know what to tell his teacher. He raised his hand and said, "guro, pwede po bang pumunta nang banyo?" (meaning, teacher may I go to the bathroom?') Since the boy didn't speak English, the teacher pretended that she didn't hear him. The boy said to himself, "what should I say (in Filipino, of course)". Then suddenly, the boy raised his hand and said, "FATHER, MOTHER, I", and quickly rushed out the door and to the bathroom. The teacher wondered what the boy meant. 15 minutes later, the boy came back. The teacher asked him where he went. He said that he went to the bathroom and he needed to go really bad. Then she asked what he meant when he said 'FATHER, MOTHER, I'. The boy then explained, "FATHER in filipino meant TATA, MOTHER in filipino meant INA and I in filipino meant AKO".
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7/5/2008 4:23 am |
Want to know just how Filipino you are? Take this less-than-scientific quiz to rate yourself. Scoring: Give yourself 3 points if you can relate to the following characteristics yourself, 2 points if it relates to an immediate family member (mom or dad) and 1 point if you know of someone who has the characteristic. (NOTE: This quiz was taken from "The Philippine Review," August 1995 edition.) MANNERISMS & PERSONALITY TRAITS: 1. You point with your lips. - I don't think I've done it. 2. You eat using your hands and have it down to a technique!- When I was a child. I still eat with my 'kamay' (kamayan) at home now in the U.K. 3. Your other piece of luggage is a balikbayan box.- Yep definitely. 4. You nod your head upwards to greet someone. 5. You put your foot up on your chair and rest your elbow on your knee while eating. 6. You use a rock to scrub yourself in the bath or shower. Not anymore. 7. You have to kiss your relatives on the cheek as soon as you enter the room. 8. You're standing next to eight big boxes at the airport. true, mainly because of my mom.9. You collect items from hotels or restaurants "for souvenir's sake."- Yey freebies....'libre, libre...ang gipit ko naman. 10. Your house has a distinctive aroma.- Always 11. You smile for no reason. -Maybe 12. You flirt by having a foolish grin on your face while raising your eyebrows repeatedly. 13. You go to a department store and try to bargain the prices.- Mahilig ng mura kasi medyo pobre eh. Mag barter.14. You use an umbrella for shade on hot summer days. Hindi 15. You scratch your head when you don't know the answer. -Minsan 16. You never eat the last morsel of food on the table.- Ano daw? Kainin lahat, bakit hindi, biniyaran mo pa at masasayang lang. 17. You go bowling- In the league.18. You play pusoy & mah jong. - Hindi ko alam paano maglaro. 19. You find dried up morsels of rice stuck to your shirt.- Lagi 20. You prefer to sit in the shade instead of basking in the sun.- 21. You add an unwarranted "H" to your name (i.e., "Jhun," "Bhoy," or "Rhon.")- Not really. 22. You put your hands together in front of you as if to make a path and say "excuse, excuse" when you pass in between people or in front of the TV.- 23. Your middle name is your mother's maiden name. 24. You like everything that's imported or "state-side."- Hindi 25. You check the labels on clothes to see where it was made.- Nope, I check to see how much it is. 26. You hang your clothes out to dry.- Mas presko. 27. You are perfectly comfortable in a squatting position with your elbows resting on your knees.- 28. You consistently arrive 30 minutes late for all events.- Never. I'm punctual. I hate being late. 29. You always offer food to all your visitors.- Kain na tayo.
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7/5/2008 4:25 am |
In the Philippines, most kids in private schools are forced to speak English at all times. A kid who just came from the province and who barely speaks the language tried his best to do so. One day, the kid needed to go to the bathroom so bad but he didn't know what to tell his teacher. He raised his hand and said, "guro, pwede po bang pumunta nang banyo?" (meaning, teacher may I go to the bathroom?') Since the boy didn't speak English, the teacher pretended that she didn't hear him. The boy said to himself, "what should I say (in Filipino, of course)". Then suddenly, the boy raised his hand and said, "FATHER, MOTHER, I", and quickly rushed out the door and to the bathroom. The teacher wondered what the boy meant. 15 minutes later, the boy came back. The teacher asked him where he went. He said that he went to the bathroom and he needed to go really bad. Then she asked what he meant when he said 'FATHER, MOTHER, I'. The boy then explained, "FATHER in filipino meant TATA, MOTHER in filipino meant INA and I in filipino meant AKO".
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7/5/2008 4:34 am |
VOCABULARY: 30. You say "comfort room" instead of "bathroom."- Rarely. 31. You say "for take out" instead of "to go." 32. You "open" or "close" the lights.- Neither 33. You ask for "Colgate" instead of "toothpaste."- Hindi 34. You ask for a "pentel pen" or a "ball pen" instead of just a pen. -Minsan 35. You refer to the refrigerator as the "ref" or "pridyider."- Not really 36. You say kodakan instead of "take a picture."- Nah 37. You order a "McDonald's" instead of a "hamburger" (pronounced ham-boor-jer). Nah 38. You say "Ha?" instead of "What?" Sometimes 39. You say "Hoy!" to get someone's attention.- Rarely. 40. You answer when someone yells "Hoy!"- Ano?? 41. You turn around when someone says "Psst!" 42. You say "Cutex" instead of "nail polish."- N 43. You say "for a while" instead of "please hold" on the telephone. -Minsan 44. You say "he" when you mean "she" and vice versa.- Minsan45. You say "aray!" instead of "ouch!" -Minsan 46. Your sneeze sounds like "ahh-ching" instead of "ahh-choo." Ahh-choooooooooooooooooooooooooo a lot.  47. You prefer to make acronyms for phrases such as "OA" for overacting, "DOM" for dirty old man and "TNT" for, well, you know.- Yah 48. You say "air con" instead of "a/c" or air conditioner. -Sometimes 49. You pronounce the following words:"hippopo-TA-mus," "com-FOR-table," "bro-CO-li," and "Mongo-mery Ward." -Minsan 50. You say "brown-out" instead of "black-out." Depends where 51. You say "Uy!" instead of "Oops."- More Oops
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7/5/2008 4:45 am |
HOME FURNISHINGS: 52. You use a walis tambo and a walis ting-ting as opposed to a conventional broom.- Used to 53. You have a "Weapons of Moroland" shield hanging in your living room wall.- Ano yan? 54. You have a portrait of "The Last Supper" hanging in your dining room wall.- Used to 55. You own a karaoke system. 56. You own a piano no one ever plays. We play it. Bought from the charity shop or thrift store. Mom s it.57. You have a tabo in the bathroom. lagi58. Your house is cluttered with burloloys. 59. You have two or three pairs of tsinelas at your doorstep. 60. Your house has ornate wrought iron gates in front of it.- Used to 61. You have a rose garden.- 62. You display a laughing Buddha for good luck.- Nope 63. You have a shrine to the Santo Nino in your living room. N 64. You own a "Barrel Man" (shwing!) N 65. You have a parol hanging outside your house during the holidays. Used to 66. You cover your living room furniture with bedsheets.- 67. Your lampshades still have the plastic covers on them. N 68. You have plastic runners to cover the carpets in your house. N 69. You refer to your VCR as the "Beyta-Max." Before 70. You have a rice dispenser. 71. You own a turbo broiler. huh? 72. You own one of those fiber-optic flower lamps.- Want one 73. You own a lamp with the oil that drips down the strings.- Before 74. You have a giant wooden fork & spoon hanging in the dining room. Not hanging 75. You have wooden tinikling dancers on the wall. N 76. You own capiz shell chandeliers, lamps or placemats.
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7/5/2008 4:56 am |
No automobile FAMILY: 84. You have aunts and uncles named "Baby," "Girlie," or "Boy." 85. You were raised to believe that every Filipino is an aunt, uncle or cousin. 86. Your dad was in the navy. Nah 87. Your mom or sister is a nurse. Titas 88. You get smelling kisses from your grandma.- 89. Your parents call each other "mommy" and "daddy." 90. You have a family member that has a nickname that repeats itself (i.e., "Deng-Deng," "Ling-Ling," "Jong-Jong" or "Bing-Bing.") 91. You put hot dogs in your spaghetti. 92. You consider dilis the Filipino equivalent to french fries. 93. You think that eating chocolate rice pudding and dried fish is a great morning meal. 94. You order things like tapsilog, longsilog, or tocilog at restaurants. Rarely 95. You instinctively grab a toothpick after a meal. 96. You order a "soft drink" instead of a "soda." Before 97. You dip bread in your morning coffee. 98. You refer to seasonings and all other forms of monosodium glutimate as "Ajinomoto." Rarely 99. Your cupboards are full of corned beef hash, Spam and Vienna Sausages. 100. "Goldilocks" means more to you than just a character in a fairy tale. 101. You appreciate a fresh pot of hot rice. 102. You bring baon to work every day. Not every day. 103. Your baon is usually something over rice. Minsan 104. Your neighbours complain about the smell of tuyo on Sunday mornings. 105. You eat rice for breakfast. 106. You use your fingers to measure the water when cooking rice. Dati. Mata ko na lang. 107. You wash and re-use plastic utensils and Styrofoam cups. 108. You have a supply of frozen lumpia in the freezer. Rarely109. You have an ice-shaver for making halo-halo.
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7/5/2008 5:26 am |
A quick evaluation on how I did. Vocabulary has changed, Filipino mannerisms and personality are quite prominent features since my childhood and still embedded and practised at home.
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7/5/2008 5:34 am |
right now I would love to share a smile with you if thats ok my friend Have a wonderful weekend and lots of love always
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7/5/2008 5:36 am |
Yes you really look wonderful in the graduation gown. And CONGRATULATINS Jane!!!!!! If you decide to travel now don't forget where I live Considering whether I've to travel to work for further experience on my dream job.  As gran said "The world is my oyster!.
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7/5/2008 4:09 pm |
I may not know Ms. Jense. You're welcome to elaborate any time. I won't find it condescending. Besides I could be smart in specific areas and clueless in other topics. I can't possibly know everything. "Trust" is a known brand name of condom widely advertized on tv here in the Philippines. Another is the brand name "whisper" for feminine napkin...Kids are often exposed to TV so they have this good foundation of good functional vocabulary that might blow the teacher's chair. Thats the reason why teachers should be more innovative and more updated or else they might end up gullible and ignorant within the crowd of these kids.
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7/5/2008 4:15 pm |
Good morning..share lang po.. Two blondes are walking down the street. One blonde finds a little mirror, looks in it, again, and again. Puzzled, she says to her friend, "I just know I've seen this face before!" "Give it to me", says the other blonde. She looks in the mirror and says, "Of course, you silly girl! It's me!!" *It's all said & done, it's real, and it's been fun.*
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 7/5/2008 8:09 pm |
Just look at me,  , and you have the funniest jokes already   
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7/5/2008 8:10 pm |
Thanks for the email Janey!...you're so sweet! 
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7/6/2008 6:12 am |
Janey, "Trust" is a known brand name of condom widely advertized on tv here in the Philippines. Another is the brand name "whisper" for feminine napkin...Kids are often exposed to TV so they have this good foundation of good functional vocabulary that might blow the teacher's chair. Thats the reason why teachers should be more innovative and more updated or else they might end up gullible and ignorant within the crowd of these kids. Absolutely Jen, also includes parents or guardians who should try to keep up with the current affairs and not stuck back in the past, so they've a better understanding of their children.
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7/6/2008 6:14 am |
Thanks for the email Janey!...you're so sweet!  Have a good day!
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7/6/2008 6:19 am |
Good morning..share lang po.. Two blondes are walking down the street. One blonde finds a little mirror, looks in it, again, and again. Puzzled, she says to her friend, "I just know I've seen this face before!" "Give it to me", says the other blonde. She looks in the mirror and says, "Of course, you silly girl! It's me!!" Thanks Mia.People make fun of how blondes look alike. Good thing she has a reflection. There are some Caucasian people who can't tell the difference between Eastern to S.E Asian people. They either make presumptions of where we may come from or afraid to say in case they come across as racist. 
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7/6/2008 2:37 pm |
hi my friend wishing you a wonderful weekend and lots of love its nice to be important but its more important to be nice
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 7/6/2008 7:15 pm |
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off, go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.      
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7/7/2008 12:18 am |
Oh wow, congratulations Janey!!!  It's time for a wild celebration... I'm so proud of you! More dreams are coming true...You deserve it my dear Jane, I'm sure you worked so hard for this. Take care and wishing you all the best...
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7/7/2008 12:24 am |
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off, go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you. I think it's time to change my profile pic too...
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7/7/2008 12:47 am |
Ok, here's something sarcastic but kinda funny...LOL! CNN reports that gas stations will start showing PORN movies on the screens of the pumps so that you can see someone else get screwed at the same time as you!
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7/7/2008 11:06 am |
hi my friend wishing you a wonderful weekend and lots of love
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7/7/2008 11:18 am |
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off, go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you. Thanks Malu or is it Dearie ni Edel for your funky monkey joke. My godson is the cutest baby and he just turned 1 years old yesterday.
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7/7/2008 11:21 am |
Oh wow, congratulations Janey!!! It's time for a wild celebration... I'm so proud of you! More dreams are coming true...You deserve it my dear Jane, I'm sure you worked so hard for this. Take care and wishing you all the best...I'm just lucky. Not denying the really hard work.  Oh by the way, I was knocking on your locked door.
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7/7/2008 11:31 am |
Oh wow, congratulations Janey!!! It's time for a wild celebration... I'm so proud of you! More dreams are coming true...You deserve it my dear Jane, I'm sure you worked so hard for this. Take care and wishing you all the best...How should I celebrate wildly? I've calmed down a little since my wilder teenage years. Was worrying I couldn't say I was graduating to my mom because she's been asking for months when and what to wear etc. Didn't know what to say for ages.Best wishes Elena and God Bless!
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7/7/2008 11:33 am |
OMG dear Malu...what happened to you?! What, trying to scare men away? I think it's time to change my profile pic too... waiting to see a strange or crazy picture from Ate.
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7/7/2008 11:35 am |
Ok, here's something sarcastic but kinda funny...LOL! CNN reports that gas stations will start showing PORN movies on the screens of the pumps so that you can see someone else get screwed at the same time as you! BIG LOLZ. A voyeur ey? Should I say don't let people screw you over.
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7/7/2008 11:37 am |
Just look at me, , and you have the funniest jokes already 
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7/7/2008 5:51 pm |
OMG dear Malu...what happened to you?! What, trying to scare men away? I think it's time to change my profile pic too...
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7/7/2008 5:54 pm |
Thanks Malu or is it Dearie ni Edel for your funky monkey joke. My godson is the cutest baby and he just turned 1 years old yesterday. ... hahaha lagot ako
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7/7/2008 6:06 pm |
Thank you so much dearest Elena. You and your family deserve more happiness. I'm just lucky. Not denying the really hard work. Oh by the way, I was knocking on your locked door.
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7/7/2008 6:09 pm |
Thank you so much dearest Elena. You and your family deserve more happiness. I'm just lucky. Not denying the really hard work. Oh by the way, I was knocking on your locked door.
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7/7/2008 6:15 pm |
Surprised myself. I kept wondering if it's true. How should I celebrate wildly? I've calmed down a little since my wilder teenage years. Was worrying I couldn't say I was graduating to my mom because she's been asking for months when and what to wear etc. Didn't know what to say for ages.Best wishes Elena and God Bless! I understand why your mom has been ecstatic...and a very proud mom.
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7/7/2008 6:17 pm |
waiting to see a strange or crazy picture from Ate.
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7/7/2008 6:24 pm |
Ewwww BIG LOLZ. A voyeur ey? Should I say don't let people screw you over. Voyeur? Maybe they are but not me. Oh well. With this outrageous oil price hikes I feel I'm getting screwed over anyway. LOL
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7/7/2008 6:28 pm |
ms E ... the bf is getting jealous everyday ... blogging is still in my blood so for us to make amends ... i'll be using this picture Can't blame him sis...he is in love. I'm sure he is happy with your new pic?
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7/8/2008 6:49 am |
ms E ... the bf is getting jealous everyday ... blogging is still in my blood so for us to make amends ... i'll be using this picture Enjoy blogging Malu.
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7/8/2008 6:53 am |
Janey, for you my door is always open.  for opening Ms. Elena.  | ||
