1/20/2008 11:58 am
Last Read:
12/14/2008 11:51 am
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When I was still single, I used to send monthly lumpsum to 12 relatives back home because my parents couldn't afford to help my brother, his common-law wife, their six children as well as my late grandmother. For several years, I was obliged to remit hundreds of dollars for these kins who never wrote back, who never asked if I were okay doing the job I never liked. The only consolation I expected was for my brother to look after my Border Collie/Bernese Mountain dog yet he never did. Aside from my monthly remittance, my mother asked for extra money and even told me to help my youngest sibling be back on track as she was depressed at that time. When my canine best friend got sick, nobody told me for fear that I might cease sending pennies for their convenience. My mom only informed me when my dog passed away. It was the most difficult chapter of my life because my dead pet companion was no ordinary dog. He was my best friend, my protector, my family, the one who consoled me when my mom and siblings were mocking me for being lesbian, who divulged I must rot in hell because I adore women instead of the opposite gender. Only in 1996 when we're already here in Toronto that they accepted me for who I am. Today, my mom showed me her true color again and I don't know if I can forgive her once more at this juncture. I was verbally abused, physically battered and was in extreme emotional agony when I was a kid and I don't remember my parents being there for me when I was confused, sad, scared or being bullied. When someone tried to sexually assault me and the other wanted to hit me, my mom and dad were nowhere to be found. When my son asked me if I experienced being hugged and kissed by my parents, my heart cried out in pain. My boy is being loved, pampered and well taken cared off and I am not afraid to give him my life if necessary. I won't be chicken-livered to face his detractors and I'll always be there for him whenever he needs me. Jotting it down, I'm sure, will ease out my anger.
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1/20/2008 5:14 pm |
i almost cried when i read ur blog friend..dont worry ur blessed naman ng mga true friends..and of course andyan na si ali...dont worry i will be here for u always..take care
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142 posts 1/20/2008 8:22 pm |
True fortitude is what u have.
Just dropping by.
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1380 posts 1/20/2008 10:11 pm |
You have a kind heart thats why you are blessed. You are giving not only money but yourself as well thats why you feel the pain. In return God sent you an angel to console the pain...
You are not alone in this flight...there are several of us around. Wounded yet blessed.
Celebrate!!! 
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354 posts 1/28/2008 5:35 pm |
I hope you heal and feel better....God Bless.
Life is all about loving,,,,
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393 posts 2/10/2008 10:54 pm |
wow speechless ako saglit.now ko lang talaga napagtuunan ng pansin ang blog mo,sori for that.well atleast ok ka na now and maganda na ang life.ur son is so blessed to have you..GOD BLESS MY DEAR
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