JOKE lang..
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
5/10/2007 6:47 amLast Read: |
 ..Some jokes are kinda hard..Mahal kong John, Kamusta ka na? Hindi ko malilimutan ang araw na naghiwalay tayo. It was all my fault im being selfish. I'm really sorry for breaking ur heart, please forgive me and come back to me. Let's start a new beginning. Hindi na ako makakahanap pa ng katulad mo. You're the only one for me, mahal na mahal kita. Nagmamahal, Marsha  P.S Congrats pala sa pagkapanalo mo ng lottery.. ..palitan ko nga ng title ito: Tawa, tawa, tawa puro na lang tawa!!! sabi nga ng Reader's Digest, "Laughter is the best medicine." GUYS!! keep them coming!!! Farewell! God knows when we shall meet again. |
||
5/10/2007 9:34 pm |
A very desperate marriage A man really loved a woman, but he was just too shy to propose to her. Now he was up in his years and neither of them had ever been married. Of course, they dated about once a week for the past six years, but he was so timid he just never got around to suggesting marriage much less living together. But one day, he became determined to ask her the question. So he calls her on the phone, "June." "Yes, this is June." "Will you marry me?" "Of course I will! Who's this?"       
| ||
5/10/2007 9:35 pm |
Loud, mad, or sad The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test. Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?" A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, "A basketball coach?"
| ||
5/11/2007 7:25 am |
nyahaha..lolo talaga.. okey, game!!! HOW THE WIFE CONTROL HER ANGER..  husband: when im mad at you..you never fight back? how do you control your anger? wife: i clean the bowl.... husband: how does that help? wife: i use your tooth brush..
| ||
5/11/2007 7:36 am |
A lost hot A man don't know where his hat is. So the best place to get a hat is in a church. Just when he was to pick a hat he heared the priest sermon about the 10 comandments and suddenly change his mind of stealing a hat and even thank the priest, saying "Father I came to this church with a sin in my mind I was about to steal a hat till I heared your sermon of the 10 comand"... The priest ask, "in what command did it made you change your mind?".. the man replied, "Oh the command.. that say's thou shall not covet thy neighbors wife.. now I know where I left my hat"...
| ||
5/11/2007 8:42 am |
A very desperate marriage A man really loved a woman, but he was just too shy to propose to her. Now he was up in his years and neither of them had ever been married. Of course, they dated about once a week for the past six years, but he was so timid he just never got around to suggesting marriage much less living together. But one day, he became determined to ask her the question. So he calls her on the phone, "June." "Yes, this is June." "Will you marry me?" "Of course I will! Who's this?" Dear Sweetheart: I can't send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses. You are my sweetheart Your husband Allen ============ ========= His wife replied back after some days to her husband: Dearest sweetheart, Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details. 1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month's milk. 2. The electricity man only agreed after 7 kisses. 3. Your house owner is coming every day and taking two or three kisses Instead of the rent. 4. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only, so I have given him Some other items....... .... 5. Other expenses 40 kisses Please don't worry for me, I have a remaining balance of 35 kisses and I hope I can complete the month using this balance. Shall I plan same way for next months, Please Advise!!! Your Sweet Heart  Farewell! God knows when we shall meet again.
| ||
5/11/2007 3:03 pm |
ang sinaing ni anak nanay: anak, damihan mo sinaing kasma pusa't aso anak: opo nay..!!!! makalipas ang 1 oras.......... nanay: lintek!!!! bakit may pusa sa sinaing mo? anak: hindi ko na nga po isinama ang aso kasi hindi kasya... nnnnnngggggggeeeeehhhhhhh....!!!!!! 
| ||
5/11/2007 4:22 pm |
"biktima din kami ng abortion" -balot "hindi lahat ng maasim may vitamin c" -kili-kili "huwag mo akong bilugin" -kulangot "paano tayo makakabuo kung hindi ako papatong syo" -lego "hindi lahat ng klase ng dugo pwedeng idonate" -regla "bakit mo ako binibitin kung kelan kainitan at basang-basa ako" -sinampay "painitin mo ako...kailangan kong pumutok para ako'y iyong matikman at ika'y masarapan"- popcorn  I met,I laughed,I learned to love,I lied,I lost,I hurt.
| ||
5/11/2007 6:02 pm |
Punctuation is powerful An English professor wrote the words : "A woman without her man is nothing" on the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly. All of the males in the class wrote : "A woman, without her man, is nothing." All the females in the class wrote : "A woman: without her, man is nothing." So to conclude, punctuation is powerful ....
| ||
5/11/2007 6:46 pm |
Pageant Night Miss Universe Beauty Pageant Q & A Portion The FINALISTS : Miss America Miss Spain Miss Britain Miss Philippines Miss Iran Miss India Miss Japan QUESTION : Ms. America, how would you describe a male organ in your country? MS. AMERICA : Well, I would say that male organs in America are like gentlemen. QUESTION : Why do you say that? MS. AMERICA : Because it stands everytime it sees a woman..... (Applause!.... Applause!) QUESTION : Ms. Spain, how would you describe a male organ in your country? MS. SPAIN : Male organs in our country are like toros in our very own bullfight. QUESTION : Why do you say that? MS. SPAIN : Because it charges everytime it sees an opening. (Applause!... Applause!) QUESTION : Ms. Britain, how would you describe a male organ in your country? MS. BRITAIN : Male organs in our country are like Shakespearian actors and Heroes. QUESTION : Why do you say that? MS. BRITAIN : Because it cries after every performance and because it is buried alive. (Applause!... Applause!) QUESTION : Ms. Iran, how would you describe a male organ in your country? MS. IRAN : Well, I can say that male organs in Iran are like thieves QUESTION : And why do you say that? MS. IRAN : Because they always enter through the back door..... (Applause!... Applause!) QUESTION : Ms. India, how would you describe a male organ in your country? MS. INDIA : Well, I can say that a male organ in India is like a labourer. QUESTION : Why do you say that? MS. INDIA : Because it works day and night.... (Applause!..Applause!) QUESTION : Ms. Japan, how would you describe a male organ in your country? MISS JAPAN: It's like an actor in a stage play....because it bows down after every performance. (Applause!..Applause!) QUESTION : Ms. Philippines, how would you describe a male organ in your country? MS. PHILIPPINES : Ahh...well, opcors, hihihihi...I can say dat male organs in our country are like chismis... QUESTION : Chismis??? MS. PHILIPPINES : Ayy! Sorry... Its ano, ahh kuwan...it means GOSSIP in our language. QUESTION : Hmm... Interesting comparison. And why do you say that? MS.PHILIPPINES : Ayy...Dyahe!!!!Hi hi hi hi hi hi...Kasi....I mean because it passes from mouth to mouth.. (STANDING OVATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) excuse me poh, makikiraan lang..
| ||
5/11/2007 10:49 pm |
love?! never love if not prepared to be hurt..... never start if you dont have plans to finish... never speak if you dont mind......
| ||
5/12/2007 4:38 pm |
I'll be back,,,don't have jokes to share ehh,,,but you have a nice one here
| ||
5/12/2007 4:41 pm |
Don't Take It Seriously When the DOCTOR says, Take off your clothes. When the DENTIST says, Open wide. When the HAIRDRESSER says, Do you want it teased or blown? *It's all said & done, it's real, and it's been fun.*
| ||
5/13/2007 7:48 pm |
GOOD MORNING good morning!!! rise and shine for it is only at this point where you gold in youre eyes, corn oil on youre face,methane in youre mouth and a very fasshionable hairstyle!!!
| ||
5/13/2007 9:29 pm |
WHY ARE TYPHONS NAMED AFTER WOMEN? ANSWER: 'Coz when they COME, they're WET and WILD and when they GO, they take your HOUSE and CAR with them! peace po..
| ||
5/14/2007 1:42 am |
hmmm.. kala ko seryoso na muntik na sana akong maiyak  ingat lagi tatay
| ||
5/14/2007 2:13 am |
Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host, called his wife by many endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. Bernie looked at Morris and remarked, "That is really nice. After all these years, you still call your wife those pet names." Morris hung his head and whispered, "To tell the truth, I forgot her name years ago."
| ||
5/14/2007 2:29 am |
bayad sa jeepney... Pasahero: Nung, bayad nako! Drayber: Asa man gikan ni? Pasahero: Sa AKOA! alangan! Draber: (gago ning bataa ni ha) Eh, ASA man padulong?! Pasahero: Sa IMO! AMAW!!!!!!!!!!!!! NGEE!!!!!!!!!!!!
| ||
5/14/2007 3:14 pm |
MakinG love means: 1. putting the lights off 2.shaking the bed 3.going to the bathroom to wash 4.whispering sweet nothings 5.raising the temperature 6.having convulsions 7.body as one 8.twisting the arms and legs 9.moaning and panting 10.sweating it out 11. heaven and hell!!
| ||
5/15/2007 3:45 am |
A Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph. Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Habour, get outta here." The astonished Chinese man replied, "It was not the Chinese who bombed your PearlHarbour, it was the Japanese". "Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg. In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says, "You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship." Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me." The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."
| ||
5/16/2007 4:24 am |
Pasyente:Nars minamahal kita ayoko ko ng gumaling para lagi mo akong inaalagaan. Nars:Hindi ka na talagang gagaling nakita ka ng doktor na yumakap sa akin minamahal nya rin ako.
| ||
5/16/2007 6:06 am |
OFW letter letter to OFW: Dad, thanks sa padala mo.hapi si nene kasi tobleron baon nya sa skul.yung nike suot na ni junior.next time, hwag ka na magpadala ng NIVEA MILK.di nila type kasi mapait daw.. ako tuloy ang umubos.
| ||
5/18/2007 2:17 am |
a senior moment: An elderly couple were having dinner at another couple's house and after their meal, the wives left the table to go to the kitchen. The two elderly gents were talking, and one says: "Last night we went out to a fabulous new restaurant .I'd highly recommend." The other man says: "What's the name of the restaurant?" The first man thinks long and hard with a furrowed brow, finally saying: "Ah, what is the name of that red flower you give to someone you love?" His friend replies: "A carnation?" "No, no. The other one," the man says. His friend suggest "The poppy?" "No, no, no" growls the man. "You know - the one that is red and has thorns." His friend says: "Do you mean a rose?" "Yes! Thank you!" the first man says. He then turns toward the kitchen and yells: "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"
| ||
5/18/2007 2:22 am |
fisk's aunt: At long last the good-humored boss was compelled to call Fisk into his office. "It has not escaped my attention," he pointed out, "that every time there's a home game at the stadium you have to take your aunt to the doctor." "You know you're right, sir," exclaimed Fisk. "I didn't realize it. You don't suppose she's faking it, do you?"
| ||
5/18/2007 2:25 am |
three wishes: Three friends were stranded on a desert island. After several weeks with no food and no drinking water, they were beginning to lose heart. Suddenly, a bottle floated into the shore and a beautiful genie popped out. She said "I have three wishes to grant. Each of you gentleman can make one wish come true." Friend number one got excited. He said "I wish I was in Las Vegas with dice in one hand and a drink in the other, surrounded by music, food, and beautiful women." Instantly he was gone, his wish granted. Friend number two smiled and said, "I wish I was back home right now with my wonderful wife and our two small children, at our log cabin in the woods sitting in front of the fire and singing Christmas carols together." Just like that, he disappeared. The genie asked the remaining man, "And what do you wish for?" He answered, "Gee, I wish I had my buddies back to help me decide.
| ||
5/18/2007 7:44 am |
exam in a game, ateneans, lasallistas and UP students met. kantyawan to da max.. atenean versus lasallistas... tahimik lang mga taga UP. the two groups decided to combine powers so they made fun of the UP students.. A and L: woooh!!! tuition fee nyo baon lang namin yan!!! tahimik parin mga taga UP... sabay biglang hirit>> UP: Eh epal pala kayo!!! pagsamsamhin nyo na mga exams nyo katiting lang ng exercises namin yan!!! LOL! hihihi..
| ||
5/18/2007 7:45 am |
in a class... "Class," sabi ng titser sa kanyang mga estudyante, "use the word 'beans' in a sentence." Mareil: "I eat pork and beans for breakfast." Carlo: "My mother cooks mongo beans." Neil: "We are all human beans." Teacher: "Ay tanga!!"
| ||
5/19/2007 11:32 am |
bata: wala akong kwentang anak para sa inyo, lahat ng gawin ko mali. hindi nyo na ako mahal. ama: nagkakamali ka anak.... anak: mali nanaman ako
| ||
5/19/2007 11:35 am |
A couple just started their Lamaze class and they were given an activity requiring the husband to wear a bag of sand to give him an idea of what it feels like to be pregnant. The husband stood up and shrugged saying, "This doesn't feel so bad." The instructor then dropped a pen and asked the husband to pick it up. "You want me to pick up the pen as if I were pregnant, the way my wife would do it?" the husband asked. "Exactly," replied the instructor. To the delight of the other husbands, he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, pick up that pen for me."
| ||
5/19/2007 11:39 am |
teacher: ano ang past tense ng laba? juan: naglaba mam! teacher: ang present tense? kim: naglalaba! teacher: tama! ano naman ang future tense? pedro: MAGSASAMPAY!!!! 
|
 |
 |
 |
| Become a member to comment on this blog | ||
 |
|
