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ON DATING:..An Issue On Who Should Pay? I am aware that this is a case sensitive blog, but I just had to post this one..Oh well, I know that in this generation and time, there have been changes in the so called "norms" when it comes to dating. I probably still belong to the time when women enjoyed the privileges of being pampered by their men in almost all aspects of courtship and dating. I remember my first dates as such that it was something BIG to look forward to. I had to look my best, and of course, I expected to be taken to a nice and cozy restaurant, be treated like a real LADY, and what have you. But let's face it, those were the days, and now, we are faced with a situation that MAYBE, even on the first dates, women have to pay for them, isn't it?..Well, actually, there's nothing wrong with that, specially, if the woman insists or it is her treat, anyway...But, sitting there, after a hearty meal, and it's been a while, but your date has not asked the waiter for the "check", and you already told him a couple of times, "shall we go?" and he said "yes"...what will you do?...Hahahahaha! Honestly, if that happens to me, ( I hope not), I'll ask the guy if he wants us to "split" the check, so that we can leave...After all, we both ate the food anyway, right? I think, that's the subtlest thing that I can do in that situation, without really embarrassing my date, and without really, completely, frustrating myself..(grrrrrr!!!!)..And guess what? I think, I'll really have to think a hundred times, if I ever wanna go out with that guy again...  But how about those stingy dates?...I mean, those who are actually willing to pay, but once you order, anything above $10 is already very expensive, and he has no qualms to let you hear that?..Another disappointing event, yeah?...Again, I hope, I don't meet that kind of person, because, really, I can afford to pay for my own meal...(hehehehehe)...Please, don't get me wrong. It's a different story if I'm the one asking the guy out (which I haven't done yet). But, I think, that it is just fair specially during the very first date, that the guy is prepared to foot the bill and if he has no cash at hand, he should have a credit card to pay for it..The succeeding dates, I'll be more lenient and reasonable, and it doesn't matter if we ate in McDonald's or fastfoods or wherever (but I still prefer fine dining, )...As a matter of fact, by then, we're more comfortable with each other already...I don't mind a 50-50% deal at times..And if there is a special occasion, I won't mind actually giving him a treat...But for the first date?...Well, I can't wait for the readers to post their opinions...I'm sure, they're all interesting to read...specially, if they're coming from men and women... THANKS FOR VISITING/READING/AND POSTING in my blogs...  Just call me ELZ  |
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5/28/2007 9:13 am |
It depends what environment and situation you are in. Here in the United States if a girl asked you to go out especially a white girl, they usually pay or asked you to split the expenses based on my experienced. I've gone out on dates where they actually pay for them and it's no big deal. It's the American society and it is very common where the ladies wants to be equal and besides a lot of them makes more money than I do nowadays so it's no big deal for them to really pay for such a date! In that instance where your date pays for the bill, then make sure you do your part by leaving a tip. In the US, it is customary to live a tip to the server for 20 percent from the total bill. A $100 bill is the norm for a dinner date in the US so you expect to leave $20 tip for your server. If I asked a special lady to go out on a date, then I have to foot the bill simply as that! I've been out on a few where my date insisted to share on the bill but I politely declined or simply reminded her that I was the one who asked her out for dinner or to the movies. However, I haven't really dated a Filipina back in the Philippines but I know for a fact that it is customary for the guys to pay for the entire date i.e. dinner, movies, flowers etc or else you will be labeled as a cheap skate or there won't be a next date! Good Luck......
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5/28/2007 10:11 am |
It depends what environment and situation you are in. Here in the United States if a girl asked you to go out especially a white girl, they usually pay or asked you to split the expenses based on my experienced. I've gone out on dates where they actually pay for them and it's no big deal. It's the American society and it is very common where the ladies wants to be equal and besides a lot of them makes more money than I do nowadays so it's no big deal for them to really pay for such a date! In that instance where your date pays for the bill, then make sure you do your part by leaving a tip. In the US, it is customary to live a tip to the server for 20 percent from the total bill. A $100 bill is the norm for a dinner date in the US so you expect to leave $20 tip for your server. If I asked a special lady to go out on a date, then I have to foot the bill simply as that! I've been out on a few where my date insisted to share on the bill but I politely declined or simply reminded her that I was the one who asked her out for dinner or to the movies. However, I haven't really dated a Filipina back in the Philippines but I know for a fact that it is customary for the guys to pay for the entire date i.e. dinner, movies, flowers etc or else you will be labeled as a cheap skate or there won't be a next date! Good Luck...... )...And like I said, I have nothing against that..To each his/her own talaga..I also commend you for having that thought of making your date special as well...Way to go!By the way, how do you want me to address you? I can see that your handle is Aloha2U5, does that mean that you're from Hawaii?...Just call me Elsa...Thanks again...Aloha and Mahalo! Just call me ELZ
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5/28/2007 8:18 pm |
Shine!..I thank you for agreeing with me...I think, it is just right that we, women will be given that kind of privilege and pampering, right? We need to feel special and important on our first dates...Hayyy!..that makes me want to have another first date...heheheheh... Just call me ELZ
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5/29/2007 2:21 pm |
well elsa I'm from the old school, if I ask you out I expect to pay and open doors and move chairs.I believe thats its up to me since you consented to go with me.A lady is always a lady especially when she is with me.When a women has asked me out I'm always ready to pay unless she so says up front,even then i will still open doors and be a gentleman.I really can't get used to a lady paying when we go out.Especially on a first date. Sam
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5/29/2007 6:55 pm |
Thanks for posting Rich!..I think this is the first time that your participated in my blog and I appreciate it very much...Your input is usually the general opinion of the majority...And even, like me, I don't really mind sharing the expenses or even treating a guy if we already are a couple...Nothing is wrong with that...But hey! I won't refuse anyone who'd like to shoulder the expenses... Just call me ELZ
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5/29/2007 6:59 pm |
well elsa I'm from the old school, if I ask you out I expect to pay and open doors and move chairs.I believe thats its up to me since you consented to go with me.A lady is always a lady especially when she is with me.When a women has asked me out I'm always ready to pay unless she so says up front,even then i will still open doors and be a gentleman.I really can't get used to a lady paying when we go out.Especially on a first date. Sam Just call me ELZ
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5/29/2007 7:04 pm |
Robert,...I'm so proud of you and the rest of the guys who posted here...I guess, I am right in a way that the majority of men still prefer to pay, specially on their first dates... Just call me ELZ
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5/29/2007 7:06 pm |
Gosh! it is so touching to read posts like these,specially from wonderful men who still regard us, women with special attention and a little pampering here and there you know...Didn't you all know that, that is our weakness? Just call me ELZ
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5/29/2007 7:06 pm |
And why are you guys on the internet, and not in the real world?..Waaaaahhhh!  Just call me ELZ
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5/29/2007 7:10 pm |
Honestly speaking, I miss those days, when I was treated like a real Lady (or even as a Princess), where dinners, flowers, travels, simple whispers, or Publid Display of Affection were just an ordinary part of my life...(Sigh!)...And wahhhhhhhh! Just call me ELZ
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5/29/2007 9:09 pm |
Okay, dinner it is in Texas, Robert!..And you will pay, I know.....Gotcha there! Just call me ELZ
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5/29/2007 9:12 pm |
I have no doubts that the guy would say that to you Robert...And I'm pretty sure too, that he will give you a very young virgin wife... Just call me ELZ
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5/30/2007 5:34 am |
elsa we are the real world in fact I was in your town weekend before last,and I have to come back in few weeks.Coffee??
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5/30/2007 7:09 am |
Sheesssh! Robert, I forgot about the girlfriend thingie...hehehehe...But girlfriends do treat each other, right? Can't wait, girlfriend! Just call me ELZ
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5/30/2007 7:15 am |
elsa we are the real world in fact I was in your town weekend before last,and I have to come back in few weeks.Coffee?? Just call me ELZ
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5/30/2007 7:18 am |
Yehey! I got 2 promisory treats now...A dinner date, and a coffee date...Yehey!...Any other rain checks? ... Just call me ELZ
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5/30/2007 1:31 pm |
Hello,Any time you are in the great Pacific Northwest(Seattle)..my treat. CJ
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5/30/2007 2:08 pm |
Hello,Any time you are in the great Pacific Northwest(Seattle)..my treat. CJ ..I thank you kindly...Come and visit again my blogs...Take care CJ!Just call me ELZ
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5/31/2007 5:43 am |
Robert, we both know that these things are happening everywhere, Africa or not. Don't even go far..Philippines is doing the same...For this reason, most of my American correspondents are wary about pursuing any relationship with Filipinas based in RP...Specially the ones who are almost naked in their profiles...young and pretty, and some of them already extorting money from men here and outside RP...Men, like you, would have second thoughts in taking things seriously with them. I feel ashamed of this fact, because even though I am an US citizen, I am still a Filipina, no matter what..What puts my former country into shame, puts me into shame as well...But that is true, and it is happening..Don't be sorry for bringing it up..It's okay and this gives the readers a true picture of what is going on here at FFF and out there... Just call me ELZ
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5/31/2007 7:35 pm |
Robert, I tell you what?..There is absolutely nothing wrong being poor...I am a product of a poor family, but we strived hard to get to where we are right now...Some women, I hate to say this, are standard members (even paying members) of this website just to be "hookers"...They extort money (Western Union) from men who enjoy seeing them bare via webcams...I have 2 male correspondents who can attest to this...And that is very, very sad and embarrassing... Just call me ELZ
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5/31/2007 7:38 pm |
Well, the good thing is, according to most male correspondents here,,They are willing to pay for their dates, specially the first one...And I am glad that each one feels good about that... Just call me ELZ
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6/1/2007 2:44 am |
Either way is wrong Robert...There are only 2 people doing this...The Provoker and the Abuser..Just like you, who am I to throw the first stone?...My family and I suffered from being poor,but got educated to the max (that we could afford through decent means),even if it meant for my siblings to work and at the same time go to school and support the younger ones after they graduated (I'm the Baby in the family)...But, we are proud to say that we've never been juvenile delinquents...We climbed our way up with dignity and pride.. Just call me ELZ
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6/1/2007 8:02 am |
Either way is wrong Robert...There are only 2 people doing this...The Provoker and the Abuser..Just like you, who am I to throw the first stone?...My family and I suffered from being poor,but got educated to the max (that we could afford through decent means),even if it meant for my siblings to work and at the same time go to school and support the younger ones after they graduated (I'm the Baby in the family)...But, we are proud to say that we've never been juvenile delinquents...We climbed our way up with dignity and pride..
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6/1/2007 9:55 pm |
AND A FINE JOB YOU AND YOUR FAMILY DID BRAVO SAM Just call me ELZ
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6/1/2007 9:59 pm |
I thank you Robert...It's a combination of dreaming BIG, working hard, believing in HIM, and believing in myself...I finished not only one, but two bachelor's degrees and was already working on my Master's/Nurse Practitioner degree until I stopped last Fall...It was just too much for me...I might go back to school to finish what I've started...I'm still poor and simple at and by heart.. Just call me ELZ
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