Blog : Hatred and paranoia

23211 posts
4/27/2016 3:44 pm

Hatred and paranoia

I came across an article today about a woman who has a strong personality, very articulate, and who does not fear to express what she feels be it something good or something that others may not like to read or hear because it is the painful truth. Her words are powerful. While so many people admire her for being truthful and straightforward, there are also others who hate her and criticize her even though her articles have not been personally directed to anyone. I can relate. I have experienced being accused of addressing a general issue to someone specific quite a few times. It caused a division and confusion to common friends. Hatred, Paranoia, and Pride are very bad combinations. They can cause unnecessary pains, ruin relationships, and hard to develop trust. I do not like to have enemies and therefore, I do not harbour hatred because I do not want to be a loser. Just like anybody else, I want my peace of mind. Sometimes, it makes me wonder why people hate others without them really knowing WHY? Is that possible? I remember a male friend who once warned me: " Do Not have too many women friends. You do not know who really is with you because if you look good, they envy you, but if you look bad, they criticize you. Even if you are sincere, they think you're a fake, and if you are blatantly straightforward, you are rude. Women always OVERTHINK. They are very good at creating problems which are not even there." And for this reason, I am very picky with friends. The ones I keep are the ones who are loyal with me through thick and thin. The ones who do not consider me as a competitor, the ones who accept me for who I am and the ones who believe in me. I still think that those who harbour hatred are losers who deprive themselves their peace of mind.
Just call me ELZ

eb1209

4/28/2016 3:06 am

Thank you for empathizing MeAnn. I am happy with who and what I have. I do use my "6th sense" when it comes to friendship. Sometimes I do feel and see some kinks that I can easily shrug off and let go. After all, imperfections are part of things that we need to accept and be accepted. But the obvious intent to destroy is unacceptable. Minsan, kung sino pa ang me pagkakamali, yun pa ang nagmamatigas despite my sincere slow moves to make amends.
Just call me ELZ

ccdomonic 73M

225 posts
4/28/2016 7:04 am

hi there
nature gave women an inborn skill called womens intuition
something honed from the experience of a million generations
use it
if something feels not right , run, as far and as fast as you can
whether its a ""friendship "" or something more its made up of a hundreds of tiny points of reference your mind picks up each one maybe insignificant but together ring bells in your head
ignore it at your peril
cc

eb1209

4/28/2016 11:49 am

ccdomonic

Hi there CC ! thanks for your input and wisdom. I sure can reflect on that. I appreciate your visit here in my simple blog page. Have a wonderful day
Just call me ELZ

eb1209

4/28/2016 2:32 pm

Hi Teng! perfect timing of your visit! Maybe this blog of mine is connected to the "past" event in our group. Actually something happened again within the past 24 hours. My intention was really good, and it was casual and non-verbal, but then again, the person concerned took it badly and deleted her post. How can "liking" a post of a common friend be bad? And by the way, this is my blog page. It is public, and any FFF member can see this. Therefore this is NOT a chismis I really appreciate your concern and rest assured that you are picked as one of the few female friends who can be neutral. It is okay to be sensitive. We all are. We just have different level of sensitivity. It is sad that we do have ( and honestly, it cannot be avoided ) some awkward moments. Again, while this blog is generally addressed, it can hit past events bull's eye. I cannot control what other people think and feel about me, but I can only adjust my emotions. And this is one way of expressing it. I do not feel that I owe anyone any explanation but I am open to any kind of talk or communication. I will never take it against common friends to react or interact with this blog. I promise.
Just call me ELZ

eb1209

4/30/2016 5:25 am

Thanks, Tinks! Indeed, we cannot please everybody. I just wish that we all start putting ourselves in the shoes of the others and empathize with them so that we can know that it is NOT what we think that is always right specially if it is more of the negative side. Have a good one Tinks!
Just call me ELZ

elizabethvivian2 49F

4/30/2016 11:28 am

This is where i'm lucky.. I have made really good friends in this site.. and most of them are women.. beautiful ones too!

eb1209

4/30/2016 12:43 pm

elizabethvivian2

Vivian. I am lucky also meeting wonderful friends here quite a few of them are women. And Yes, they are beautiful inside out, no doubts about it. Most of them we can talk anything under the sun without hurting each other. Thanks for visiting
Just call me ELZ

eb1209

4/30/2016 12:55 pm

Indeed, that is a very good advice Jane . But of course, where else can that come from but you? You always see both sides of the coin and have a very open mind about issues. We both know that true friends are not afraid to say either oositive or negative things about one another and joke about it, may argue, may be sensitive and take time off for quite a while, but not forgetting the good times. But then again, you are right, as everyone is different. Reconciliation is one good option spoecially if the issue is not even geared to something personal. And it will really help na huwag "magatungan" kasi, sometimes a spark of dim light can burst into a real huge fire if someone fuels it. I am happy enough that true friends stay away from it and therefore, part of healing is not even mentioning anything about the person or temporary NOT see nor have an update about the person. Venting is one thing, and healing is not far behind it. Thanks Jane. I know that you are with me that truly there are no permanent friends and enemies. When I am conversing with a person even though s/he doesn't like me, I mean being cordial and not being "plastic" about it. That's what we are being educated for. Pwede namang friends lang na hindi close di ba? That's more than being civil.
Just call me ELZ

eb1209

4/30/2016 12:57 pm

Positive. Sorry about the other typos. Im using my tablet.
Just call me ELZ