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Sharing Your Luggages  It's always been quite the "issue", that when you want to start a serious relationship after a separation, divorce, or even losing a partner to death, we have to consider the fact that we have (or the other person has as well) who definitely have to fit in and vice-versa or deal with the union to build a now much bigger "family"..It's not very easy, believe me. The problem is not even about financial, but more of trying to re-adjust to the living situation, the different personalities and maybe, running the risk to be "compared" to the EX-partners of both sides. And so, therefore, most people wait till the are grown up, enough to understand or are no longer living with them, before they decide to take things seriously. Some people are very successful making the early moves, but more often than not, the rest just have to WAIT!....I know, we don't want our to be referred to as "LUGGAGES", but for the sake of discussion, being that at times, you get to find a totally single person or someone without to be your prospective partner...Life, after all, is about taking risks...And I must admit, I've always been a coward, either way. Just call me ELZ  |
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ELZ, The case too often, there is 'choosing' to do. Painful as it is, as most situations called for, you let go of the love because of the kids, or the 'unfit' circumstances, of the many hang ups of the past relationship/s. 'Compromise' seems to get out of hand faster than the word 'serious'..and then you get to regret later, and the many what if's. But I don't regret. There will always be choices and I'll stand by mine even if it brings me heartbreak. 
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Elz, It takes a special man. Just look at Papa Bear. Completely loves Lea's kids. Courage to take the risk in the name of love. I know in my own experience no guy in their right mind will want those luggages. Just sad some are like that. They want a fresh family to begin with. Have a lovely monday Greatest feelings in the world when two souls profess a love for each other...
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1/28/2013 8:07 am |
ELZ, The case too often, there is 'choosing' to do. Painful as it is, as most situations called for, you let go of the love because of the kids, or the 'unfit' circumstances, of the many hang ups of the past relationship/s. 'Compromise' seems to get out of hand faster than the word 'serious'..and then you get to regret later, and the many what if's. But I don't regret. There will always be choices and I'll stand by mine even if it brings me heartbreak.  Just call me ELZ
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1/28/2013 8:10 am |
Elz, It takes a special man. Just look at Papa Bear. Completely loves Lea's kids. Courage to take the risk in the name of love. I know in my own experience no guy in their right mind will want those luggages. Just sad some are like that. They want a fresh family to begin with. Have a lovely monday  ..Kaya lang, nag-iisa na lang yata iyang si Tissue Paper...hehehehe.. Just call me ELZ
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1/28/2013 8:11 am |
I meant, theire "real" Dad, not read.. Just call me ELZ
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1/28/2013 8:13 am |
And maybe that's the big reason why the "second-handers" (which include us) aren't that hopeful, until such time we are about RETIRING AGE... when we have truly "unpacked" our own luggages, by ourselves..Just call me ELZ
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1/28/2013 9:54 am |
And take a plunge, Bestest Friend! Just call me ELZ
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1/28/2013 11:32 am |
MEN and WOMEN share the same sentiments, alright. THere are men too who might expect for something similar or even better than their past, specially if those are the ones who left them behind...But, as always, the baggages we refer to, are more emotionally vulnerable... Thanks for your visit...I can see that your style seems familiar as well... Take care!  Just call me ELZ
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1/28/2013 3:27 pm |
Elz, It takes a special man. Just look at Papa Bear. Completely loves Lea's kids. Courage to take the risk in the name of love. I know in my own experience no guy in their right mind will want those luggages. Just sad some are like that. They want a fresh family to begin with. Have a lovely monday I guess with the likes of Papa Bear. There's a small chance someone will get lucky to have a partner who accepts everything and anything that comes with the person s/he loves.    within each one of us, and let it begin with me (and each one of us)..one breath at a time.
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1/28/2013 3:36 pm |
I agree with your general sentiment...I am after all a single parent so I know how that goes. While I was able to carry a relationship despite my son being young, it was still arduous for me and my girl but it helped that I only had one son and she was childless. I can only imagine if both parties had kids. It gets exponentially harder with each additional child as well. I will admit that once my son hit 18, it was far, far easier to handle a relationship as I basically can tell my son "bahala ka na sa sarili mo, binata ka na ano, so leave me alone". Well, not quite that, but you get the gist. In my opinion, that kind of baggage is far easier to handle than a death. Most times, that is there forever, especially if the death was from a fiance/fiancee. It would take a special kind of person not to feel insecure of the "memory" but rather be supportive of his/her partner's occasional lapses of anguish. Such is the challenge of a relationship. It takes a special kind of strength to deal with those. Now to hijack this topic little....ilang buwan na ako wala dito at wala pa bang mag-unload nang bagahe mo? Hm, dapat siguro tulak mo nang konti yang besty mo ano? Hm??  My will is unbreakable. Simply put, I cannot be broken - Enrique
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1/28/2013 5:12 pm |
I love reading happy results. I guess with the likes of Papa Bear. There's a small chance someone will get lucky to have a partner who accepts everything and anything that comes with the person s/he loves. Just call me ELZ
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1/28/2013 5:16 pm |
I agree with your general sentiment...I am after all a single parent so I know how that goes. While I was able to carry a relationship despite my son being young, it was still arduous for me and my girl but it helped that I only had one son and she was childless. I can only imagine if both parties had kids. It gets exponentially harder with each additional child as well. I will admit that once my son hit 18, it was far, far easier to handle a relationship as I basically can tell my son "bahala ka na sa sarili mo, binata ka na ano, so leave me alone". Well, not quite that, but you get the gist. In my opinion, that kind of baggage is far easier to handle than a death. Most times, that is there forever, especially if the death was from a fiance/fiancee. It would take a special kind of person not to feel insecure of the "memory" but rather be supportive of his/her partner's occasional lapses of anguish. Such is the challenge of a relationship. It takes a special kind of strength to deal with those. Now to hijack this topic little....ilang buwan na ako wala dito at wala pa bang mag-unload nang bagahe mo? Hm, dapat siguro tulak mo nang konti yang besty mo ano? Hm?? It's been a long time since the last time we've read posts from you ..But of course, we both can relate to all these. Ako? Wala na akong bagahe! ang gaan ko na nga eh.. Si besty has his own personal business and actually "loaded," himself..toinkz..Just call me ELZ
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1/28/2013 5:18 pm |
I meant, theire "real" Dad, not read.. tons of typos.. ..."their real dad"....Just call me ELZ
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1/28/2013 7:57 pm |
baggage... or luggage? what is that to you? I mean, really? To a couple women here that I have come to be close to, it is a Louis Vuitton no matter how heavy that burden maybe, they will carry the 'heavy" in style - head held high and like a swan, they will paddle hard underneath but yet show their grace in all their splendor for everyone to admire And then I have also know some who come with baggage... the carry it like a "tampipi"... ( i need not expound.. ) I am sure you will get my drift Luggage/Baggage... it will always be ever present to everyone. single or married; widowed, widower'ed; separated or divorced. If it is not material, it is in emotion; or at worst, it involves at least another human's life. It really should not be about the luggage/baggage per se... methinks, it should be about your emotional maturity, and your outlook. A good sense of awareness and a sane head about you to see what adversity you have coming at you; the willingness to tackle it, AND WIN!!!
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1/29/2013 12:44 am |
Jane, I would like to think that even though your agreement was not notarized, if you've affixed your genuine signatures, it is still valid as MUTUAL AGREEMENT...However, up to this time, until the annulment was legalized in RP, I really didn't think there was this "legal separation" thingie..But it can be "legal" psychologically... Just call me ELZ
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1/29/2013 12:47 am |
baggage... or luggage? what is that to you? I mean, really? To a couple women here that I have come to be close to, it is a Louis Vuitton no matter how heavy that burden maybe, they will carry the 'heavy" in style - head held high and like a swan, they will paddle hard underneath but yet show their grace in all their splendor for everyone to admire And then I have also know some who come with baggage... the carry it like a "tampipi"... ( i need not expound.. ) I am sure you will get my drift Luggage/Baggage... it will always be ever present to everyone. single or married; widowed, widower'ed; separated or divorced. If it is not material, it is in emotion; or at worst, it involves at least another human's life. It really should not be about the luggage/baggage per se... methinks, it should be about your emotional maturity, and your outlook. A good sense of awareness and a sane head about you to see what adversity you have coming at you; the willingness to tackle it, AND WIN!!!  , and you have to be in that real situation to be able to either SWIM or SINK! Just call me ELZ
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1/29/2013 12:50 am |
TINKZ, and since you and mr. suave think alike...THINKING (perspective}is one thing, LIVING in a situation is another...wanna try it with CHIEF? Who knows? You could both be another one of those real success! ..and again, IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO, and you actually have to be both on the dance floor! Just call me ELZ
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1/29/2013 12:51 am |
I'm LOVIN` this discussion! Just call me ELZ
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1/29/2013 12:54 am |
And besides, kung kayo ni CHIEF, balance na balance eh, tigalawa kayo, puro lalaki pa, at pwedeng dagdagan pa ng isa...BASKETBALL TEAM na ...Siya ang coach, ikaw ang muse.. Just call me ELZ
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1/29/2013 3:00 am |
How are you doing? (Honey).. It's been a long time since the last time we've read posts from you ..But of course, we both can relate to all these. Ako? Wala na akong bagahe! ang gaan ko na nga eh.. Si besty has his own personal business and actually "loaded," himself..toinkz..Hm, so wala na palang bagahe e di wala na rin problema. Dapat tulungan mo besty mo para gumaan din bagahe nun ah...pero baka matigas ulo din e....parang ikaw ( kidding, kidding )On a serious note, I agree with Suave that one needs emotional maturity in order to deal with the situations describe. Sadly, that is in short demand these days - you have men and women in their late 20's/early 30's who have the emotional capacity of a 10 year old. One needs adversity to develop maturity, but people are encouraged to take the easy way out from such an early age. So when they do have emotional baggage, they cannot deal with it resulting in either crippling their abiity to form relationships or hoping they meet someone who can deal with said baggage. Which of course is hard because of what I mentioned earier. The good news is that it can happen, as shown by your own example. Simply up to the paties involved whether to take the plunge or not. As always, communication is key, as will be patience. My will is unbreakable. Simply put, I cannot be broken - Enrique
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1/29/2013 6:20 am |
Hi Joseph! ...I noticed too, that most "foreigners" (considering that I am FIL-AM) aren't bothered by luggages, and maybe it's part of the liberated culture...and so, that makes you the perfect choice in one end, even though the other has luggages... Just call me ELZ
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1/29/2013 6:24 am |
I am well..as is Honey. You know her, always so busy doing her dual-job thing and taking care of her kids. No time for even sleep, I keep telling her dahan dahan siya mamaya mawala beauty niya lagot siya nyan Hm, so wala na palang bagahe e di wala na rin problema. Dapat tulungan mo besty mo para gumaan din bagahe nun ah...pero baka matigas ulo din e....parang ikaw ( kidding, kidding )On a serious note, I agree with Suave that one needs emotional maturity in order to deal with the situations describe. Sadly, that is in short demand these days - you have men and women in their late 20's/early 30's who have the emotional capacity of a 10 year old. One needs adversity to develop maturity, but people are encouraged to take the easy way out from such an early age. So when they do have emotional baggage, they cannot deal with it resulting in either crippling their abiity to form relationships or hoping they meet someone who can deal with said baggage. Which of course is hard because of what I mentioned earier. The good news is that it can happen, as shown by your own example. Simply up to the paties involved whether to take the plunge or not. As always, communication is key, as will be patience. ...but putting it simply, with baggages or none, maturity and the willingness to commit to such a serious task should come from both parties. Their proper communication to their children can make things even better, to prepare them well as to what's the road ahead....It pays to be honest and firm, and make things work...Because, it is workable, and doable..Thanks for the updates, my dear.. Just call me ELZ
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I love reading happy results. I guess with the likes of Papa Bear. There's a small chance someone will get lucky to have a partner who accepts everything and anything that comes with the person s/he loves. Me too i love happy endings. All in the name of love 'teGreatest feelings in the world when two souls profess a love for each other...
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Ahh! Tess, Papa Bear is EXTREMELY UNIQUE in that he's never been married, and he knew with Lea, he could no longer have kids, but he did what their read dad failed to do for them..He gives his ALL, and it's very obvious...HE IS VERY HAPPY WITH WHAT HE HAS RIGHT NOW, and they are ALL VERY HAPPY, which makes me also very happy for them.. ..Kaya lang, nag-iisa na lang yata iyang si Tissue Paper...hehehehe..Papa Bear is the last breed of those special kind. But, when a man is in love with the lady. He will move mountains... Greatest feelings in the world when two souls profess a love for each other...
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1/29/2013 4:40 pm |
Nyahahahahahaha! Just call me ELZ
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