Blog : Parents, Love Your Children...

23211 posts
5/21/2009 9:34 pm

Parents, Love Your ...

...My only just came back from his yearly trip to the Philippines. He is very tired, but he enjoyed his vacation. We chatted briefly, and I mentioned to him that I received a text message from his Dad (based in Cebu at this time) asking why he hasn't visited him nor texted him. With his head bowed down, my said: "Mom, do I have to really see him each time I go back home to visit grandma?"

I was taken aback by my 's statement. I know that even if he and his dad lived briefly together, there was no evidence of solid bonding. My ex was not very demonstrative nor expressive of his love for him. As a matter of fact, each time he came home for vacation from KSA, he found himself having to rival with our for my attention. I know, it sounds weird, but I guess, that was the case. I remembered sonny used to be so sweet to his dad, when he was even 2 years old. He would give him his sleepers, and would open his arms to him to be carried. My ex was very sweet to me during our prime years, but he admitted that he grew up not experiencing demonstrative love from his family either. To him, being loved was being castigated and always reprimanded. Our , who was pampered with my love and my entire family's love didn't understand why his dad was "cold". He hungered for him to play with him specially that he was away and working in KSA for the most part at that time. Sonny has no recollection of what it is to have a wonderful dad. In short, he has no father figure/role model.

Now, this is the sad part. My is grown up now. Although he regularly sends money to his Dad, he admits to not feeling anything affectionate for him. And no matter how I tell him not to feel any contempt, he just could not show/demonstrate any further emotion. My ex feels so bad about this situation, but I think, it is too late now...We cannot take back the hands of time. We can only be but once.

SO, PARENTS,...LOVE YOUR

Just call me ELZ

im_stacy
(Stacy Gielen) 113F

2795 posts
5/22/2009 12:43 am

It's good that your Sonny is very outspoken about how he feels towards his dad.
M's dad and I were legally separated when she was 11 years old. We felt she was too young to understand this so we didn't tell her. I should say we underestimated her capacity to grasp the situation. When she was 14 I was surprised when she casually blurted out ... why are you working in Saudi instead of being in Kuwait with Dad? She wanted a straight answer and made it clear that I shouldn't try to pretty up the ugly truth and sugarcoat it with phrases like, "It all happens for a reason."

I think kids cope better when they are able to see the bigger picture. And Sonny is no exception. As a young adult, he wants to feel independent and totally in control of his life, and even dropping hints on how he should do things would spark an opportunity to express this.

When I

low my friends et al give me energy.

venusangel 69F

5/22/2009 2:03 am

[B]it`s really too late now for your ex to find the affection from your son, more so of the fact that the love he was looking for wasn`t shown to him when he was younger..
my kids are abundant of love and affection both from me and my ex..we have enjoyed our kids when they were young and even until now that theyre grown ups they still feel the strong bonding and closeness founded by love..
still, your son has to see his dad once in a while to make him feel that he is still his father, no matter what..i think he has the right to feel it, too...but your son has a choice now.