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Revelation: Will She Finally Break The Family "CURSE" ? A letter from my niece who works as a flight attendant based in UAE inspired me to write this blog...And this is a TRUE TO LIFE story involving my eldest sister, myself, and now, my niece..A few very close FFF members know this part of my life, but I'd like to share the inclusion of my niece... ...First,in 1970's, it was my eldest sister who got involved with a Pinoy Muslim who worked in Clark Air Base (then, situated in Cavite). After 4 long years of loving relationship with my sister, the man's family demanded that he married their family friend's who was bethrothed with him since childhood. Culture and family pressure prevailed, prompting the man to marry against his will. My sister was devastated, almost took her own life, but later on decided to move on and get out of the country. I was so young then, but I saw and still remember their last moments together at the airport where the guy took off his wedding ring, giving it to my sister to be thrown away. He didn't love his wife and wanted my sister to stay, even if she became his mistress. No way, Jose!  ...My sister married her American-German penpal and even though until this time, she still thinks of this Muslim guy, she never regretted her decision......Second, it was ME...from March 15 (Gosh! it's today!), 1995 to Sept. 14, 1999, I had the most loving relationship with a Muslim Pakistani MD who pampered me with love, attention, gifts, time, and everything he could do to make me happy. He was very intelligent, very kind, very everything, except that he was also bethrothed to marry his cousin back in Pakistan. He was honest from the very beginning, but I took the chance to be happy, and indeed, it was the happiest moments in my romantic life. It was a very painful last meeting in JFK airport when I sent him off. He cried a bucket of tears, as he pulled a small box and put the diamond "separation" ring on my finger saying: "I'm maybe marrying someone else, but you are the only person I have ever loved like this, and it is with you that I spent the happiest moments in my life. I will never ever forget you."...It took me a very long time to recover. When he came back to NY, I changed job, apartment, unlisted phone number, (eventually relocated to TX) so that we won't have communications anymore. I bumped into common friends, and they told me that he was looking for me. No!...I respect marriage very much, and I will never be an instrument to break a family...Life went on, but LOVE failed to conquer me again...  ...Lately, and hopefully lastly...My niece (in the featured picture) who is in UAE who fell in love with a Lebanese (it goes without saying that he, too, is a Muslim)and was romantically related with him since 2005-2007, and at present. He was also asked by his parents to fulfill the tradition of pre-arranged marriage. He tried to make his marriage work, but the lack of love, incompatibility, and the persistent love for my niece led him to divorce his wife. My niece tried to move on and started another relationship with someone who is not a Muslim, but due to the nature of her work, it didn't succeed, or maybe, it wasn't meant to be...Dubai is her home base, and that is the place where the Lebanese lives. To make the long story short, they are back together again. Thankfully, he has no , but, I am still worried for my niece. She is willing to take the risk of marrying him. They are now planning to raise a family here in the USA, where his family will not be able to control them...I am afraid the difference in culture and religion might not make them succeed. I don't want to think negative...But I do hope that she will finally break the "FAMILY CURSE", that of us, being unsuccessfully linked to Muslims... THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME READING THIS...This is our TRUE STORY.  Just call me ELZ  |
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3/15/2009 9:07 pm |
Hello Elsa, What a beautiful story! Love that was let go. Hopefully by your neice love will conquer all and the curse finally lifted... Have a great week now, always God bless!!! tet  [I God is pure love...
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oh elz, hope this muslim curse will be gone forever!
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3/16/2009 3:15 am |
Hello Sis!  ...Thank you for this. My niece is so much more of a risk taker. And she loves this Lebanese guy so much and as you can see in the picture, they really look so in love. My brother and his wife already met the guy when they visited my niece in Dubai last December. They like him better than the one who lives in Sweden.Just call me ELZ
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3/16/2009 3:19 am |
Hello Elsa, What a beautiful story! Love that was let go. Hopefully by your neice love will conquer all and the curse finally lifted... Have a great week now, always God bless!!! tet Just call me ELZ
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3/16/2009 3:23 am |
oh elz, hope this muslim curse will be gone forever! Just call me ELZ
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3/16/2009 3:26 am |
And come to think that all, three of us, were adored, loved, and pampered by these three men over their counterparts, there must be something in us that draws them to us... could it be the Muslim magnetic curse? Just call me ELZ
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3/16/2009 3:28 am |
oH THANK YOU, KIDDIE SIS!  Just call me ELZ
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3/16/2009 3:35 am |
Thank you for bringing this up, kiddie sis...But I think, we have some wrong notions about the Muslim culture. After being involved with the Pakistani, I now understand their culture much better...YES, they can marry more than once, but most of the time, only the dignitaries or royal men do that. It is in their culture also that if the man decides to have many wives, he must treat them equally, and literally equally, ranging from attention, material things, and others. And as far as the Orthodox Muslim culture, divorce is something that is not the option of choice. Only American (western culture) tend to abuse that. Just call me ELZ
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3/16/2009 3:40 am |
I have also come to undestand that there is some advantages in marrying for the reason of "commitment" alone. Love can be developed a lot easier if the couple decides to hold on to that commitment...On the contrary, if the couple marries solely for the reason that they are in LOVE, but refuses to keep the commitment when other problems arise, that same love can easily fly out of the doors and windows... Just call me ELZ
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3/16/2009 3:41 am |
I have also come to undestand that there is some advantages in marrying for the reason of "commitment" alone. Love can be developed a lot easier if the couple decides to hold on to that commitment...On the contrary, if the couple marries solely for the reason that they are in LOVE, but refuses to keep the commitment when other problems arise, that same love can easily fly out of the doors and windows...  Just call me ELZ
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3/16/2009 3:50 am |
In my case, we would have opted to go on with our relationships and defy his culture and family, but it was I who thought long and hard and decided to let him go. I was his very first and last GF (in their culture, if they are pre-arranged to be married, they are not allowed to have any other relationship at all) and it was with me, he experienced what it is or how it was to be freely in love. But at that time, I was thinking, I have a son, he was single, very young,very successful as a physician, and very close to his family (being the eldest in the brood of 9). I didn't want him to be disowned (or worse killed) by his family just because of me. I will carry that guilt all my life if that happened. Sometimes, in love, we have to think more of the welfare of the others more than our very own Just call me ELZ
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3/16/2009 3:53 am |
I think, our famous blogger, Sulei, can say something more about this whole thing. Just call me ELZ
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3/16/2009 3:56 am |
But of course, times have changed, and so with the cultures. What used to be a taboo may be more acceptable these days. I believe happiness can be found, can be willingly fulfilled, but cannot be forced. Just call me ELZ
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3/16/2009 3:56 am |
And if once again, given the choice, I'd rather have a Muslim than an Atheist, and that's for sure... Just call me ELZ
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3/16/2009 10:26 am |
Thanks CAT, I am so happy for them, and I do hope that this "curse" gets broken... Just call me ELZ
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3/16/2009 9:26 pm |
Thank you Bhabes...I also become teary-eyed when I make a trip down the memory lane... Just call me ELZ
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And if once again, given the choice, I'd rather have a Muslim than an Atheist, and that's for sure... When I  low my friends et al give me energy.
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AMS bagay na bagay sila (plus plus plus ang kilig factor when I look at them), your niece looks very charming and her sweetheart is so good looking, very typically Lebanese ... When I low my friends et al give me energy.
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3/17/2009 7:45 am |
ohh pangga, it is not a curse hehehee.. it's all circumstancial...for me, if i'd be given a chance to fall in love with a muslim, i will give in hehehhehee A healthy friendship changes and grows ‒ i.e. it is dynamic. How do we know if it is alive or not? It must be growing and changing constantly. A healthy friendship will encourage personal growth as well as allow both parties to explore safely with new ideas and experiences.
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3/17/2009 6:40 pm |
korekaD2 ... but then ... when I think of it atheists have good reasons to be one, and at some point in their life, they've also had an experience with religion. Just call me ELZ
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3/17/2009 6:41 pm |
AMS bagay na bagay sila (plus plus plus ang kilig factor when I look at them), your niece looks very charming and her sweetheart is so good looking, very typically Lebanese ... Just call me ELZ
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3/17/2009 6:43 pm |
ohh pangga, it is not a curse hehehee.. it's all circumstancial...for me, if i'd be given a chance to fall in love with a muslim, i will give in hehehhehee Just call me ELZ
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3/18/2009 5:59 am |
My case is closed...My niece's brings so much promise of fulfillment..thanks a lot, Yanie! Just call me ELZ
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3/18/2009 8:50 am |
Pangga, I remember that at some point in your lovelife, there was this young Turkish, am I right?..I'm not sure though if he was a Mulim...yeah? A healthy friendship changes and grows ‒ i.e. it is dynamic. How do we know if it is alive or not? It must be growing and changing constantly. A healthy friendship will encourage personal growth as well as allow both parties to explore safely with new ideas and experiences.
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3/18/2009 3:29 pm |
Thank you for your post, ROXY...I am a person who's open to all the possibilities...I know for a fact that there are so many events in our lives which have no explanations. I do not claim to be a strong believer of the "unknown" but I am aware that such things do exist, and there is nothing we can do to stop it. It's just like people believe in fate and destiny...where we DO all that we could to fulfill our dreams/needs, but in VAIN.. Just call me ELZ
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