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Road Rage Through The Short Cut "...and i'm so sad like a good book I can't put this day back a sorta fairytale with you a sorta fairytale with you..." Once again, I find myself listening to Tori Amos. And once again, I find within me an immensely charged desire to write and write and write. Yes. Call it punishment. My most beautiful, self-inflicted punishment...when I am left to my thoughts, when I am feeling nothing but a sense of detachment, when I feel nothing inside of me and I let my mind churn out what my heart should be feeling. I have just added another adjective, another ugly pin I'm sticking to the coat I wear. Unregretful. It happened just today, although I knew it was long overdue. It had started with a passionate kiss 5 months ago...one that had lingering effects, its beautiful tendrils still clutching precariously at my heart. Technically, it wasn't really forbidden. The Kissee had already broken free of the ties that had The Kissee bound...and The Kisser was already way into the dissolution of the current relationship at that time. And each of their reasons were reasons totally separate from one another. I would not be a hypocrite to say that there wasn't any attraction and feelings involved. First of all, how can one kiss another person if there isn't any attraction and feelings involved at all? And so, I admit...there was attraction and feelings. A great deal of attraction, and a great deal of feelings. I guess that pretty much details what had happened. Life offers no secrets. Secrets only remain so until the predestined time they're divulged. The time of divulging was today. It was not from my lips that this poison was tasted, although it was from my lips that its deadly drop was created. . I said I was sorry to myself for giving in but there is not regret beyond everything that has happened. And it IS true. I am sorry. Sorry even until now. I am sorry for the situation we are all in at the moment. I am sorry to hear myself sobs as I begged me not to hurt myself even more. But I REALLY did not apologize, did I? I merely said I was sorry. Truth be told, I feel no remorse. I am a bad, bad person. The cold-hearted bitch a thousand times magnified. This is what I know as fact, and with that knowledge, I should be hurting, condemning myself to fiery gates...but I am not...at least not yet. There's just so many things in front of me right now, and I cannot waste time hurting. I'll hurt some other day. 
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