Man Hunt: the Search for the Next Boy Toy
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5/3/2005 5:41 pmLast Read: |
I was making fun with my friend Yvonne, the other day while I am her place and wrting some stuff. "Go post an add that goes: WANTED BOYFRIEND" .. I told her no way!, that is the corniest and the cheapest thing I won't do ever... but she said it's just for fun and nothing is serious. And I end up with this : Man Hunt: the Search for the Next Boy Toy I need a hug. It just occurred to me that whenever im stressed, I need a strong and soft body to comfort me. Yesterday, I was really busy from the last day of March until today and I am soooo tired until now.. Thankfully, somebody came to the rescue, it's Angelo my little cousin who gives me a hug and warm kiss... after that, I had to find a person to transfer the stress accumulating in my system. Good thing Raine was there to make me smile, But what if Raine were not around? Would I have resorted to bawling inside the washroom eating my lunch alone (which is soooo Mean Girls). I MUST DEVICE AN ANTI-STRESS PLAN and I must have it NOW. This led me to think of several contingency plans. 1. Calling my friends, BUT what if they're doing something more important? 2. Chocolates: nope, too fattening 3. Shirk: out of the question. So that leaves me with... drumroll please... MAY's OFFICIAL BOYFRIEND SEARCH. Yeah. Yeah.... what a pathetic reason to fall in love. But what the heck, im only human, flesh and blood I'm made (how cheesy!). Don’t get me wrong. I won’t just pull some stranger walking in Glorietta, in any malls... that would be cheap. I have a master plan with the standards of the (un)fortunate guy who will be sharing his affection with an, ahem, undercover goddess. lol. I asked Yvonne to find me one… She, like yours truly, is now a member of the SINGLES. ShE asked me what I want in a guy… hmmm, oo nga no? What is it that I want in a boyfriend/ bearer of all my stress? INITIAL REQUIREMENTS: 1. sane 2. non- violent 3. single 4. willing to be subjected to intense emotional, physical, and verbal abuse 5. willing to dish out some cash, time and lotsa effort ... lol.... Pre-qualifying Exam 1. Clean, Fresh smelling (amoy bagong paligo, hindi yung parang binabad sa pabango) and hygienic Rationale: since the primary reason I want to have a boyfriend is that I want somebody to hug, he must be huggable ( not that chubby nor fat, he must be skinny yet huggable in some aspect). I don’t want to be embracing someone smelling like a dumpsite. 2. Normal to extremely good looking person Rationale: I’m not really expecting a gorgeous Ryan Phillippe looking guy but if God gives me one, bakit ako tatanggi sa grasya? Pero if not, I would settle for someone normal looking. I don’t want him to have a huge mole, it might distract me everytime. I don’t want him to have features that are too large (mukhang anime) or too small (mukhang premature baby). Normal nga lang… 3. Dressed for success Rationale: My future boyfriend/ bearer of all my stress will be seen with me, an undercover goddess so he must look decent and respectable. Please, no wearing of huge basketball shoes 24/7 or loose hiphop shirts… that is soooo.. fubu. Argh... whoaaa... No way. 4. Dressed nothing on the head Rationale: He must be bald.. not that bald.. maybe semi-bald... that is a MUST. Panel Interview 1. Sense of humor is a must Rationale: I am a funny and silly girl; please don’t take away my sunshine. I don’t want to be with someone who thinks of the fluctuation of the exchange rate or the duality of life. I mean, I love talking about serious stuff but not every second of everyday… please. If he’s afraid he’ll look stupid if he acts and jokes silly, chances are, he is. 2. Must speak fluent English Rationale: My friends are evil. We are mean. Lest you want to be the object of our torrid insults, you must know how to speak English. If you’re not confident with your command of English, tagalugin mo na lang. Final Interview 1. Putting the smart in casual Rationale: as long as you don’t wear rubber shoes like there’s no tomorrow, I don’t want my guy overdressed all the time. I’d prefer to look like his girlfriend, not his personal maid. Jeans and shirts (not the im-so-macho-see-my-nipples-freezing shirts) are fine. I think what matters is how he carries himself. I appreciate guys who exude confidence, can carry a conversation, and can smack me bitch up! So there... those are the partial unofficial requirements for the luckiest guy in the entire planet. If you know anyone, please tell me immediately. I'm running on a tight schedule. lol... See, ain't that a great fun? May |
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5/3/2005 9:35 pm |
May, you have me LOL reading about your anti-stress plan where you as the undercover goddess are going to trap some unsuspecting guy as your next personal huggable boy toy. You are one of my favorite bloggers here with your expressive posts and now with this very hilarious entertaining post. I know I'm old enough to be, ahem, one of your older kuyas, but, just in case you need it, I'm sending a virtual 'hug' your way to use as you will (or you could give it to an older Ate of yours) until you snag your boy toy with whom you will do with as you will -- of course in a huggable stress-relieving way to please the undercover goddess that is you.... r
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5/4/2005 1:09 am |
I am so touched by that comment...hhhmmm... now let me feel that vitual hug... ahhh.... hhmm... your'e huggeable as well KUYA.. It's great! lol... Hope your'e enjoying all my posts here.. wish ko lang walang mag copy and paste.. lol peace out!
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5/4/2005 9:06 am |
where's the application and interview?? lol...guess i'll have to try..lol..good luck!!..peace keep smiling, angel!! your're probably going to get thousands of applications...see it does work!!..lol "This is my wish for you: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life.”
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5/4/2005 3:25 pm |
1.smelly from working all day 2.about twice your size so too big to hug 3.too tired to worry about clothes 4.violent,it's my job 5.poor my job doesn't pay well 6.the doc said i'm nuts now for the good 1.am losing my hair at an alarming rate 2.with my job i dobt you can stress me out 3.i think i'm funny 4.i'm so sexy lol 5.i only speak english fluently so,am i a candident?yeah i soung more like a husband than a boy toy silly me lol.
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5/4/2005 7:41 pm |
flipman11435 - where's the application and interview?? lol...guess i'll have to try..lol..good luck!!..peace keep smiling, angel!! your're probably going to get thousands of applications...see it does work!!..lol --------------------------------------------------------------------- Flipppp..... ------ ( Virtual hug for you as well ) well, what can I say? you need an application form and an interview... say.. you pass... what will you do next? hhmm.... ( waiting ) peace out!
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5/4/2005 7:47 pm |
sproket2 1.smelly from working all day --------- I CAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT 2.about twice your size so too big to hug ------- THEN YOU SHOULD BE HUGGING ME THAN ME HUGGING YOU 3.too tired to worry about clothes------ LET ME WORRY ABOUT YOU CLOTHES 4.violent,it's my job----- HHMM I CAN BE SOOO VIOLENT ONCE IN AWHILE 5.poor my job doesn't pay well ------ WELL WORK TOGETHER ; ) 6.the doc said i'm nuts --- MY DOC SAID IM MORE THAN NUTS now for the good 1.am losing my hair at an alarming rate ------ LET IT... LET IT ALL FALL 2.with my job i dobt you can stress me out ----- HHMMMM... 3.i think i'm funny --- THEN WE CAN BE A GOOD TEAM 4.i'm so sexy lol --- AND SO AM I? LOL 5.i only speak english fluently -- NOW I SAY ' IT'S YOU!' LOL Nice one deary... you made my day!!!!!!!!1 ( virtual hug for you.. plus some kiss on the head... ooopppsss... up there.... ) peace out! so,am i a candident?yeah i soung more like a husband than a boy toy silly me lol.
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5/5/2005 9:05 am |
fyi...what would u like to do then? "This is my wish for you: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life.”
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5/5/2005 6:51 pm |
flipman11435 - fyi...what would u like to do then? ------> I have no idea.... you should check out those requirements and if you think you have what I have described then... you don't need an application form and an interview all you need to do is SHOW UP.. take me out on a nice dinner down by the Bay Area in Roxas... hihihi... (flirt) lol peace out!
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5/6/2005 9:46 am |
fyi, when i am out there again i WILL show up..lol and suprise you..with some flowers and dinner down there..seafood good? or how about some french or thai restaurant??..of course..now i told u..its not a surprise anymore..lol..(flirt flirt).. double peace out!! "This is my wish for you: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life.”
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5/7/2005 3:52 pm |
Aaawww come on Flip... any kind of Resto is fine with me.. AS LONG AS WITH YOU.... haaayyy.. what is this? flirting game? lol ill wait for my flowers... peace out! May
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