1/1/2006 3:40 pm
Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:28 pm
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12-25-05
I was sitting inside the van, looking outside as the lights passed by in a blur. We were on our way home and I felt unusually melancholy tonight. I thought looking out the window would make me feel the holiday cheer. Instead, it made me think of my life - my past, my present and my future.
It's Christmas, I know. I shouldn't be feeling this way. I should be happy. Filled with good cheer. But I'm not. And I feel myself catapulting to depression again. I wanted to scream with the unfairness of it all. Why can't I just enjoy this one day without thinking of things I have no control of?
As I was musing thus, my nephew who was sitting beside me started to lean over and snuggle in his sleep. And in that instant - as his head was in my shoulder, as my hand felt his beating heart, as I heard his steady breathing - I felt the world tilt and right itself. And I felt, for the first time today, that everything will be okay
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