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| Blogs > KYLAN1963 > Life,Down Under... |
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Choices in Life There comes a time in our lives when we are faced with painful choices,how we come through those paths chosen,moulds us into the characters that we are.  I was confronted with a painful choice back in February when I found my ex returning from Vietnam,she was in need of help. In my heart I could not bare her to suffer and did what I can to look after her. People told me I was foolish,but it is difficult when you once loved them & were partnered. Sadly I found my Soulmate here and loved her deeply,telling her I was helping my ex survive here would have grieved her as we are far from each other and the worry would break her heart. Trying to look after the welfare for an ex and one you loved is painful emotionally and caused conflict with my heart,I felt guilty of loving someone,but helping another girl here,lol. And being told at work repeatably I could not leave to see my heart's desire,destroyed me.  Women deserve ALL your attention and love and don't want sentiments shared with others,it hurts them. I have watched from afar every post,blog and word on the phone and e-mail showing care and affection to me from a great woman. And I did not reciprocate in full because of the tragedies unfolding here dragging me down. I plain and simple care too much for others when they ask for help and get myself muddled emotionally or used easy. And I am heartfelt sorry to that woman for reaching out to me...my truest Soulmate and sincerest Love. Sadly the girl I helped will secure her Citizenship here and head of with whatever boyfriend she hooks up with,I saw her chatting last night with them. I assist her with Nursing/Aged care studies,translating Viet-English for medical terminology. She is a nice girl,but we are not 'harmonious' in spirit as I am with another.. I think I have been used,but I made the choice to Care and I made another choice to Love,I have no regrets regardless of the pain,as it makes me who I am flawed,imperfect and trying to make life easier for others in this world. I have been involved in a war for nearly 20years,so it makes me try to care more after seeing so many women and perish brutally. My hopes and dreams are they both are safe and happy,as in love the other's welfare comes before yourself!Lol & Lol.. |
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 Heh ever the Nanay to me. Walang problema. I felt responsible for the welfare of my ex,even though I knew I may end up used in some way. Regardless of the hassles,she is a good woman at heart,so helping her has merit. I have seen worse in this world,like Nielle. In ways there is benefit here regardless of my feelings. I was able to help Eileen/Shine rescue from her dilema and give care to another I overlooked somewhat,Ate Lotus. So I am happy for that! The Witch vs Engineer is a funloving joke between us all,but at the end of the day,it doesn't matter whether Lynne,May,Joy,Cez or any other is the focus of your heart,it is in our heart as pamilya here that they,you girls always win..for the better in life,love and happiness always. At the core of my soul,that is my deepest joy for the other's happiness,regardless. Much grief here for me,emotional blackmail like being told I can't sponsor anyone until 2008-9,which upset me. Amongst other things hurtful,I felt it correct to shield my grief from others. Sometimes to want to share your pain,but you don't want your loved one to be sad. So you hide it,because you want them to be happy. I love you too Cath even though you are a darn Witch,heh I am proud of you also...
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